Tonight he comes home.  Its after 6pm and his pump alarms that he has missed bolusing his supper. He doesn't tell me this. He simply reads the screen and boluses for what he assumes he had for supper with Dad. He then goes out to ride his bike for the next 90 minutes. When he comes in he has a look of shock on his face.  He tests right away and is fine. He then turns to me and says, "Remember how you asked me what I had for supper? Well my missed meal bolus went off after that and I bolused for supper but we ate a late lunch and didn't have any supper.  I bolused for food I didn't have. What do I do?" My mind is reeling. He bolused for imaginary food. He read his screen and acted on the prompt. He has been exercising. He has all of this insulin on board. What the heck? Where do I start? I give up and don't panic. He has survived this long! He waits for a bit longer and then has a banana.  He wants to test every 15 minutes to make sure he is okay.  He wonders how he will explain this one when he gets to his clinic appointment tomorrow! I just wait for the drop.  There is none...yet.

March 2009

March 29, 2009  Its 4am...why I am awake? I was dreaming of the Simpsons of all things. I never even watch the show so why are they haunting my dreams? I guess it was more of a nightmare.  Since I am awake, I test Liam.  Its been about 4 hours or so since his last test.  I stumble around, find a meter and check.  LOW! Crap! I hate night time lows.  They never let me sleep.  I wake Liam up and tell him he is low. He downs his apple juice in no time flat.  I crawl back in bed and pray I can doze off for 15 minutes. No such luck!

I get back up and test. He has moved all of .2mmol. I am not happy. I wake him up again.  This time Liam asks..."shouldn't you have waited 15 minutes before testing me again?" I told him I had and he was still low.  Back to it--more juice.  This time I might as well stay up.  I check my email.  I answer a few. 

I also take the time to log into another account and vote once again for the diabetes dream assignment.  Michelle, mom of two children with diabetes, has submitted a proposal to photograph people with diabetes living and dealing with diabetes. I had voted using one email address so I logged in again using a different address. Please, if you haven't voted do so. Michelle needs our help! This is an awesome project and Michelle's pictures are incredible! http://www.nameyourdreamassignment.com/the-ideas/Michelle/insulin-is-not-a-cure-for-children-with-type-1-diabetes/ 

March 28, 2009  The Newfoundland budget came down on Thursday and no mention of expanded insulin pump coverage.  Its a sad day for diabetes.  There were health care initiatives that were announced...and they cost a lot more than what was required to expand the insulin pump program but I guess we were not a loud enough voice.  They did not feel that we represented enough constituents.  It was more important to pave a parking lot in the hospital of a major center.  Again so sad.  I mean its great to have decent parking at a hospital but insulin pumps mean less hospital visits due to complications and therefore less wear and tear on those parking lots!

We are not done.  There will be another budget.  We will not be lost in the shuffle again.  We will see adult pump coverage. We will be on their radar and we will be a very large blip. We will not be ignored. 

March 27, 2009  The mourning continues for devote Cozmo lovers.  Many wonder what they will do next, how they will keep using their Cozmo for as long as possible.  Can anything be done to save their beloved pump? There are no easy answers.  I am pleased to say that when a friend's son wrote to the people at Smiths Medical regarding how upset he was to be losing his favorite pump, a very high ranking VP responded to his concerns.  He explained to the young man that they had struggled with this decision for three years now and finally had to decide to leave the market.  It was great to see such compassion and a personal reply...mind you the original email could bring you to tears. It was so heartfelt and wonderful but he is an incredible young man!

There are those who were just about to purchase their first Cozmo who are now struggling to make new decisions.  There are those of us who have years to wait but worry about how customer service will be maintained over the years.  There is 5 years of uncertainty for some.  That is a lot! Thankfully there are other pump manufacturers out there.  They all tend to have wonderful people working for them.  Those looking to pump must always chose what is best for them--its just sad that now there will be one less pump to chose from.  With any luck, it will encourage the remaining companies to work harder to provide the best pumps for everyone.

March 26, 2009  Tragedy has struck! Another player has opted out of the diabetes market.  Smith Medical has stopped making and selling their Cozmo insulin pumps.  They will continue to offer supplies and to honour existing warrantees but you will not be able to buy a new Cozmo again.  For those of us who loved our Cozmo this is a huge blow.  We loved our alerts and great customer service. We wish that we could "opt out of the diabetes market" as well.

In Canada we are down to the AccuChek Spirit, Medtronic's Real Time pumps, and Animas.  All great companies but none offering our beloved Cozmo technology.  Okay we did have some issues with Cozmo...the Americans got way better stuff but the customer service that we received was always second to none. I had a pump in less than 24 hours of any malfunction and you know that pumps only die on weekends!

Oh well, the other companies are great. Liam's warranty is good for another 4 years I think and I already have made back up arrangements so life in our house is...well sad but okay. 

March 25, 2009  My baby is growing up.  Who would have thought it but its true.  Yesterday we had to go and have Liam's blood drawn for his A1c and cholesterol.  We forgot to put the numbing cream on before we left.   They didn't use the butterfly needle.  He survived! Of course he swore that his arm was ready to fall off and he could barely move his arm for the rest of the morning. He was certain that it was the perfect excuse NOT to go back to school in the afternoon--wrong!

That is not the only thing that has changed. For all of my moaning and complaining, he is also becoming more independent.  Last week I noticed a dead site AND tubing laying on my coffee table.  Liam had changed his site on his own! The other night I heard him rustling around in my room. Out he came with his site change stuff, sat down and proceeded to change his site. I was shocked! He remembered...well he did admit to being a day late.  He was doing it without any help from Mom! This was the kid who last fall was NOT going to do this and now look at him! I am very proud...and sad that this is something for me to be proud about.

March 17, 2009 One o’clock in the morning, March 17^th, 2009.  I was sound asleep. I was dreaming that I was in a palace. I did not want anyone to find me.  The rooms were incredible. Everything was rich and beautiful.  People were looking for me. They were close. I could hear them in the next room. I had to make a run for it. I could hear them calling for me but I kept running through the rooms and out into a fenced garden.  My only hope was to go over the fence and into the lake.  I took a huge leap of faith and made it over the wall and safely landed in the water…into the arms of the king.  There was no escape. I still heard a voice and felt myself being ripped out of my dream state before I could know my fate.

It was my oldest son.  He was talking in his sleep. He was exceptionally loud and I forced my self to get out of bed. I looked at my clock.  I had wanted to get up and test Liam around this time.  He had been 5.9mmol (106mg/dl) before I went to bed and I did not know if he would be rising or dropping through the night.  I had to know that he would be okay.  I stumbled to find his meter.  I somehow found my way up the stairs to his bed.   His fingers were being stubborn because I was tired and blood was impossible to find.  Finally I got a reading.  I was now wide awake and wanted to cry. He was 3.9mmol (70mg/dl).  This would not have caused a panic during the day but it was 1am and those are usually the readings that never go up. They are the ones that drop and drop until I am exhausted. 

I raced back downstairs and found the juice, a cup and a straw.  I brought my tools back upstairs and remembered a friend’s suggestion to wake Liam up to his night-time lows to help him recognize them…it also made it a little easier for me to get him to drink. I told Liam to roll over and drink his juice because he was low. I knew I was overtreating.  The juice was at least 20 grams of carbohydrates but I was in a state of panic. I just hate night-time lows and I was tired.  He easily drank the juice and I headed back to my room to wait.

Waiting….I remembered waiting nine years ago this very day--March 17^th, 2000, the new millennium and the beginning of our new life.  I was waiting to know what was wrong with my child.  Liam was two at the time and his body was slight.  He weighed 22lbs and his clothes hung off of his frame.  His breathing was raspy.  His feet were chunks of ice despite the woollen socks that should have kept him warm.  His body was lifeless except for that rasping.  I was terrified. 

Our family doctor had ordered emergency testing for him and told me things like Liam had diabetes.  He was in ketoacidosis.  He may have a chest infection.  The last part I understood.  The last part I could live with.  The rest was Greek to me. An allergy to sugar—that was what diabetes was right? He just would never eat any sugar again and have to have a needle every day.  Ketoacidosis? Well that sounded too scary to consider. He said something about carbon monoxide running through his veins instead of oxygen.  I could not go there.

But I had to go there. After the tests we were told to get into our vehicle and get to the hospital in the next town now. We had no time to waste.  A doctor would be waiting for us but Liam’s life was in our hands.  Now I was getting scared.  I do not remember the one hour drive in a snow storm.  I remember looking down at the limp little boy in my arms.  With each breath I said a prayer.  With each breath I willed my life into his. He had to hang on. He had to be okay.  He was my baby.  My baby could not be this sick.  I could not lose my child and not to something that I did not know how to fight.

We finally arrived at the hospital and I raced to the admitting department. Everything seemed to go so slowly.  Did they not understand that my baby needed help now? I was shaking. I was scared. I had to be brave.  He was brought up to the paediatrics ward, weighed on a baby scale and placed in a bed that dwarfed him.  They placed something on his finger that told us the amount of oxygen that was flowing through his small veins.  The readings did not look good. All I could do was pray.

Liam’s new doctor arrived looking like anything but a doctor.  I was sure he was a smaller version of the man who had played Grizzly Adams on tv but he was very efficient.  He took charge right away and told us that Liam had to be moved into the Intensive Care Unit.  Soon my baby was covered in tubes and attached to monitors.  We were told to call family and wait.  Liam had Type 1 diabetes.  He was given 12 hours to live.  If he survived those twelve hours then we would begin to learn and they would assess what damage he may have.

I remember the tears that finally came when I called my mom and asked her to call my family.  I was alone in a province far from family.  As soon as I was allowed, I was back by Liam’s side.  I held his little hand. I was sure that I could send some of my life into his by shear will. He was going to be okay.  My baby was going to come back to me.  This was my child.  I would not lose this fight. He was mine and no one would take him.

Twelve hours can be very long.  The next day we waited.  I hated to move to use the washroom.  Slowly a miracle happened. He began to come around. He wanted the catheter removed. He was not happy to have tubes in him. I was never so happy in my life. 

Nine years later, I sit waiting for his blood sugar level to go back up. Ironically, him dropping low was just as dangerous as the high that had put him in that coma so many years ago.  It amazed me how far we had come.  My two year old was becoming a wonderful young man.  He was starting puberty and I cursed it regularly but I also cherish it as only a parent who almost lost a child could.  His insulin needs are higher.  He forgets to test or have insulin for some of his meals. I wonder how he can do this and if he will ever be able to care for himself but we have come so far.

He is now on an insulin pump and I am looking at a continuous glucose monitor for him.  That technology was big and bulky when he was first diagnosed. It has been long enough for me to retest Liam and as I again fight to get blood from his finger I marvel that the fingers that once had to have enough blood to cover them completely in order to get a reading from a meter are now bigger than mine and require a drop of blood the size of a pinhead.  Technology has come a long way.

So have we. We have had personal tragedies and wonderful experiences.  Diabetes has brought us an incredible network of friends.  We travel and meet with people that inspire us.  I have been able to see change for people living with diabetes and continue to work for more change each and every day.  I remember that day when Liam was finally moved back to the paediatrics’ ward.  His doctor told us that Liam had Type 1 diabetes.  That is all that I remember because that is when I knew that diabetes would be what my life was about.  It often consumes me. It can terrify me but so far I am fighting it with all I have and we are winning the fight of Liam’s life.  I think its time to try and get some more sleep.  I am sure I have overtreated Liam. I will know when I wake in a few hours and test him again.  Chances are I will be correcting or giving him more insulin as the 4.2mmol (75mg/dl) will have risen to far greater heights while I sleep.

Another year, another victory….my son is still alive and healthy. If you ask him what March 17^th is he may remember that its St. Patrick’s day.  If you ask his older brother he will tell you its one week until his birthday.  If you ask me, it’s the day I almost lost my son--the day diabetes moved into our lives and changed our world forever.

March 16, 2009 My children never cease to be a source of amusement to me. They had no school today so we went shopping for some very important things like hot glue and new markers. Liam just got new markers for school last month. He is in grade 6. How much coloring can the child be doing? Nonetheless, he swore that he needed to have new, thicker markers. I sent him off to get what he needed and looked for the mix-master that I really did need if they wanted any more cookies in their lunches.

Liam got scented markers. I suggested that they really weren't necessary but he told me that they were the cheaper ones so why not. Okay, he won.  I didn't feel like debating markers.  We had already had a missed meal bolus at breakfast and now had the letter stating that his A1c was due soon...Missed meal boluses, puberty and an A1c. This was NOT going to be a good mix!

Once we got home, Liam proceeded to extol the virtues of his new pens. The black one smelt like marshmallows. The red one amazingly smelt like cherries but the one that got me was the green one. "Mom, you have to smell this marker!" I really didn't want to be sniffing Crayola all night.  "No Mom, you have to smell this marker! It smells like glucose tablets! You have to smell it! Its awesome!"  Yes, the marker smelt like green apple glucose tablets.  Only in a house with diabetes would this be a big deal.

March 10, 2009 Only when you live in a house with diabetes do you have kids fighting over glucose! In most homes they have no idea what that is. In my house its a huge deal.  I had to bring home TWO bottles of glucose tablets...not because Liam desperately needs them but because I have two children and my child without diabetes loves eating the tablets as much as my child with diabetes.

Foolishly, I only brought home one bottle of Insta-glucose. The adults around me said it tasted like medicine. Some of the kids seemed to be enjoying it but there was only lemon-lime left so I just took one for Liam to try.  As I said, silly me! My boys were dying for Liam to go low enough for me to okay the opening of the bottle.  Its a 16g CHO bottle and for a 3.7(65ish) I was not giving him that much sugar. 

Oh the excitement when Liam dropped to 2.9 (52)!!! Now they got to crack open the good stuff! Liam had that bottle open in a heart beat. He drank it down leaving a small taste for his older brother. The verdict? It was great! Why didn't I get more? Can we order a case? When are we getting more? Well, we aren't. I really don't see the need. We use juice at home for lows.  He has tablets when he is away from home. Why do I need these bottles? I know...because they taste good Mom!

March 9, 2009  Home, hyped and exhausted all at the same time! Its great to see my children again.  I really wish that I had taken them with me and most certainly will the next time I get the chance to attend.  The kids there have so much fun! Unfortunately my boys had missed a lot of school because of poor weather and I really didn't want them to miss more so they stayed home.  They did not miss out on the rewards however.

Glucose tablets all around! A new green Ultra Mini meter to go with the pink, black, and silver ones we already had.  New Calorie King books to keep here and to take over to Dad's for counting those carbs a little more accurately.  And the most important thing? The item that Mom worked the hardest to get? Lenny!!!! Lenny is the latest mascot brought to you by Medtronic.  He is a cute lion with diabetes.  For a few lucky children, they were able to take home Lenny as a pump pouch.  Liam was one of those kids.  He is very proud of his Lenny...and little Lenny (the keychain version).  Its great that the companies involved take the time to come up with these great items for our kids!

March 8, 2009  The topic I had been waiting for...CGMS, or continuous glucose monitoring systems.  I was looking for answers.  I had spoke to quite a few people about this issue. I now was going to hear from the expert. Would putting Liam on a CGMS help both him and I? Would I get sleep for the first time in too many years? Would I know what was going on in Liam's body? Would I be able to get better control?

The answer? The jury is still out. Dr. Perkins also tackled this topic.  He noted that CGMS does not work the same way as a traditional finger stick.  It is an enzyme based technology that samples the fluid not the blood.  Its value is to show trends.  He felt that it worked best in adults over children but the reasoning was a little skewed as data also showed that there was benefit in children who wore their sensors 24/7.  This was not something that should be used now and then.  What to do? What to do???

March 7, 2009 The first day of the CWD Pumping Conference in Toronto was incredible as always. If you have never been to a CWD conference, do what you can to try and find one near your home and go.  The feeling of friendship and understanding cannot adequately be explained. When you get together at these events, you feel like you have come home to your family.

I spent part of Friday and Saturday helping people with registration and ensuring that everyone had their orange, yellow or green bracelets on.  Bracelets are used to identify adults and children living with diabetes.  This helps everyone know if someone is in trouble and needs help.  There was nothing more moving than watching two young girls, race to the registration desk, rip open a package of glucose tablets and begin feeding it to the child who was low. You know that your loved one is safe because everyone knows what to do and everyone is watching out for one another. It was incredible.

The keynote speaker this year for the topic of "Why We Pump" was Dr. Bruce Perkins.  He mentioned many of our great athletes that are pumping and the freedom that they have because of their pumps. He noted the importance of decreasing your basal 90 minutes prior to strenuous exercise...something that he had not been able to do prior to pumping. 

The day was filled with valuable sessions and information.  Children enjoyed the pool and swimming with incredible people also living with diabetes. I don't know where the time went but before we knew it it was time to enjoy a lovely meal and get ready to be entertained by George Canyon.  He told us of his personal dreams and how they changed with his diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes.  He was proud to still be able to fly a plane and to share his music and his story with children everywhere.  The kids had a ball dancing to his music and he encouraged them to dance and have fun as he played to a captive audience.

March 6, 2009 Well, since I am now in Toronto, the weather has decided to warm up for me for a day! Great to wander around a play tourist for a few hours before the Children with Diabetes Conference begins.

My trip has been interesting so far. I got in my cab to get to the hotel and the driver asked me if I was a doctor. I laughed and said I simply know too much. I really didn't know how to explain my role. I guess I will have to work on that line. I am here as a parent who knows a lot about sending children with diabetes to school in Canada. Its a rather important role.

I love conferences like this. They empower people. They allow them to interact with others doing the same sort of things and others who have lived through what they are going through. The interaction is my favorite part of any conference. I am also here to learn as well as teach. There are some great things that I need to know more about and I am ready to get down to it.

My mind began to wander to other events that I have been to over the years. Two major organizations have Parliamentary events every year or two.  They bring the faces and messages of people living with diabetes to those in power.  I think its a wonderful idea. The one that I have been involved in is great in that it brings together advocates from all over the country.  They share what has and has not worked in their area.  They are able to listen to professional lobbyists and learn more.  Its a great concept but I began to wonder...what really happens for all of that money? The benefit to the individuals is huge, don't get me wrong! Does it impact change? Does it hit home to the MPs that they reach? I truly hope so.

March 3, 2009 My child needs help.  I swear the older he gets the sillier he gets. Today he has gone with his school to be a part of the annual Rotary Music Festival.  In doing so, they have to wear school shirts. They first wore them a few weeks ago at another event.  Liam's shirt was washed and returned to the school, as were all of the others.  When he brought home his shirt last night, he told me that this was not "his" shirt.  I asked how he knew. He said that it smelled differently (a different laundry detergent) and most importantly...where was his blood? He had put a drop of blood on his shirt! I said you did what??? This was a school shirt, as in school property! I did wash it and it should have come out but still, what was this kid thinking? He was thinking he would mark his shirt!  Actually, he said he just automatically did it but he was quite okay with that...OY! He said that way he would know it was his!

Liam then proceeded to show me his kit. It was coated in blood as well. He said "see, now you know its mine! There is a blood bath all over it and its all my blood!"   The things that amuse a child with diabetes!

March 2, 2009 Every parent of a child with diabetes' worst nightmare...the death of a 17 year old with diabetes.  Details are very sketchy as people who don't have diabetes still don't get it.  I simply know that a young person with diabetes, one day after their 17th birthday passed away from a diabetes related coma.  Was it caused by prolonged highs or a serious low? I do not know. I understand that this person had diabetes since a young child so my guess is a low that they did not rebound from. My heart is breaking for this family.  They are originally from the general area that I do.  I haven't told Liam. I just can't this time around. He is getting older and might be able to handle it better than he did the last death we went through but this person was only SIX years older than him! I am going away for a few days and when it comes to diabetes, I am his safety net. I don't want to discuss this with him and then have to leave.

I hate diabetes. I hate that it is deadly and so many people do not realize it! I wish that CGMS technology was available to all of us. That little bit of peace of mind but I would have to train Liam to wake up to its alarms and actually deal with them. I hate this disease. I hate the cost...the cost of lives, the cost of supplies. Its just not right.

Further details have sadly immerged over time. This child had many emotional issues and had refused to take their insulin. They went into DKA, cardiac arrest and were pronounced brain dead. I can still only imagine the pain.  Non-compliance remains another great fear especially for those of us who work so hard with our younger children to get good control. This family will remain in our thoughts as the loss of a child at any age is devastating.  

March 1, 2009 Its that time of the year again...time to clean out my handbag. As a mother my bag once carried diapers, food, wipes and bottles.  As a parent of a child with diabetes, that was replaced by lancets, test strips, glucose tablets, and hand wash. When I am traveling without Liam, I don't think that airport security will really  understand why I need to have some of those items in my bag. 

It always amazes me how much junk I accumulate in the bottom of my bag between overhauling.  There are at least a half dozen test strips.  There are two bottles of glucose.  Three bottles of hand wash...and we can never find one when we need it! There are one or two alcohol wipes...dead of alive. Its a scary, scary thing going into my bag! Now that I have taken out Liam's things I could easily get away with a clutch purse instead of the Mary Poppins bag that I do carry!   

February 2009

February 28, 2009 Maybe I am overly emotional lately because of puberty, stress, life, and a ninth anniversary of living with diabetes just around the corner.  I don't know the excuse but I was in my Facebook account today when I should have been doing other things I know and looking at a friend's pictures.  Many of my "friends" are other parents or people living with diabetes. The nature of the beast I guess.  She had the most incredible pictures posted.  Many of us told her that she should give up her legal career and become a photographer--her pictures are beautiful.  She had so many pictures of children from diabetes conferences (that's what the "album" was about) and of many of them made me want to cry.  There were over fifty pictures of gorgeous children looking so innocent and you know that all of them directly or indirectly live with diabetes every day.  There were pictures of children standing next to their "Quilt for Life" panel and I could feel the tears.  So young to have been through so much. I can see the picture that I took of Liam beside his quilt when we were in Florida a few summers ago. My heart aches.  The things a child with a chronic illness goes through.  The things that their families must endure. 

February 27, 2009 The diabetes gods "know" when I am trying to get things in order to go away for a few days. They work against me--torture me, scare me, and make me worry just because! This week is absolutely no different. I am trying to beat the highs of puberty and life is not making it easier. I upped Liam's basals once again...having a stroke as he had a rate that was OVER one full unit per hour! I wanted to know if I was going to also have to deal with his breakfast ratio on school days.  I waited. Were the highs from being high before and he was actually staying steady or were the highs from from not enough insulin at breakfast? Well today's answer was not enough insulin at breakfast. Translation? NO insulin at breakfast! Liam sat at the table, told me the carb count, wrote everything down and walked away without bolusing! He was nice and high at school when he realized. URGH! No chance of figuring out what is going on there until Monday. Not happy! I leave on Wednesday. I need some sense that things will be okay while I am gone. I am stressing already over homework and other issues. Now I have to add diabetes to the mix? I haven't thought much about packing or more importantly...preparing for the conference that I am attending and facilitating a session at.  Instead I am fighting with puberty highs, missed bolus highs, and tonight? A cannula completely bent in half under the skin. Calgone take me away!!!!! Cell phone at my side at all times.  Ringer set to vibrate the crap out of me. Calls on a very regular basis. Try to breathe and relax...yeah, sure!

February 25, 2009 Where did puberty come from?? He is my baby. They are suppose to stay that way...well get a little more independent, do homework on their own, do a few more chores but my babies are my babies! Wrong. Life sucked when trying to figure out if a toddler was low, now? I can't keep up with the insulin needs and we have just begun! Liam needs more and more insulin every day and I am not used to this!

This morning he had over 30 units in his pump. Good until he got home, but sleep-deprived Mom forgot that he used 12 units just to cover breakfast now! I sent him to school with only 20 units. STROKE when I get a call...as I was driving to the next town 45 minutes away, and his teacher says he is low on insulin. Actually I was calm and said that means he still has 10 units left. No big....what?? TEN units??? Crap! His lunch is close to that! Don't let him eat! Keep correcting but no food until I get there! 

When I get to school, I bring in a cartridge and deal with another school crisis. Liam's teacher comes in and says "Liam is 20.9 (375ish)" I said, no problem just correct and he will be fine. He looks at me a little strange and Liam eats his lunch in record time. His teacher comes back to me asking what to do. Liam was ONE point nine (THIRTY FIVE!) not 20.9. HOLY CRAP!!! Second stroke of the day! My heart can't take this! My jaw dropped and his teacher says "that's what I thought!".  We pour more food into Liam, retest and I ask Liam how is he feeling. He tells me he is better because now he can see!! He didn't tell anyone before that he couldn't see as he was wondering around. Teacher and mother are now ready to pass out ourselves! 

He tested before I left the school. He was in the four's (around 85) so he was coming back up...now I wait to see if we will avoid a rebound or not. No clue as to what happened. Too freaked to think. I really hate this rollercoaster! I am taking a weekend off when I go to Toronto but now I can't decide if I will be able to relax or will be paranoid. I will try to relax, I will try to relax. My phone will stuck to me, on loud and vibrate!! I can hear a glass of wine calling my name this evening!

February 18, 2009 Last night we went to the 10th Anniversary of our school board.  Each school in the board has an evening of speeches and performances by students. Our children were asked to think about their first 10 years of life. They then created a time line so that they could understand who long 10 years was. As I was sitting and listening to speeches, I happened to look over on the wall in front of me and see a poster with three crows painted on it. For some reason my son has had an obsession with crows for the past few weeks. I have no idea why but its his thing and crows are the artwork of choice for anything he is doing. Before I saw his name, I knew that this was Liam's 10 year time line. I saw the "0" showing his birth and the next thing that I could see was the "2yrs" mark. On it was written "diagnosed with diabetes". I wanted to cry. We were in a room celebrating how far this program had come and milestones along the way. My son's point of reference included a date that is far from his memory and forever etched in mine. Two years old and living with diabetes.

I could reflect on how wonderful his care has been since being in that school. The love and care they have shown him over the years. The kindness and generosity they display each year. As much as it has been positive I couldn't escape that we were celebrating and Liam's meter was nearby.  He had to bolus for each bite of food that passed his lips. Diabetes was there with us and I hated it!

February 16, 2009 I so have issues! I had blood work done today and had fasted for over 15 hours. I know I get no sympathy from my son or others living with diabetes who do this regularly but I have been doing it on a semi-regular basis for a few years too. After the blood work, we did some shopping, and finally decided on where we wanted to eat. We sat down at my oldest son's favorite local restaurant and the couple sitting at the table beside sat down as well. I immediately noticed the man's insulin pump. He was wearing it on his pants like a pager. I told Liam that the gentleman at the next table was wearing a Medtronic pump! Liam, being Liam, said "He should have a Cozmo". No one can accuse him of not being a loyal customer!

I watched him bolus...he was in my line of sight so it wasn't like I was staring or anything. My mind began to think. Had someone asked him to email the provincial government and support an adult pump program in our province? Actually someone had! The more I watched, I realized that he worked with a friend and he had been asked.  Next I wondered, if he had done it. Had he emailed the government? Had he helped our cause? I hope so. If everyone puts enough pressure on the current government, we will see change....and I will have a lot more insulin pumps to notice.

February 14, 2009 Below is a picture of my kitchen table. It amazes me! Test strips can be colored on, written on but not put in the garbage or the container.  Infusion sets can be taken off and the tubing colored but not find their way to the disposal container. Lancets are left everywhere. Alcohol swabs are always around and the gauze for some Mastisol sits ready for its use. My house is very small. The table is the area where everything is put to rest and nothing is put away. It simply amazed me when I really looked at a small sampling of what Liam had sitting on my table...

February 13, 2009 Some days I really wonder about people, information, and credible sources. People often call reputable diabetes groups asking for advice or guidance with their disease. I was recently told of a person who called a group in their province and over the course of the conversation the issue of being high came up. The person with diabetes had been high after clearing snow. It may have been a missed low that rebounded or it may have been the way that their body reacted to the cold. Liam spent years being low after playing outside for hours in the winter. It drove me crazy. This person was advised that their doctor would have to report their high blood glucose level and that they could lose their license.

The person who experienced the high was not operating a motor vehicle at the time. They were not involved in a car accident. They simply had a bad day. The conversation suggested that no person with diabetes would be able to drive a vehicle because they will be out of range at some point. This seemed absolutely insane to me! I know of people who drive vehicles and even a person who flies an airplane and lives with diabetes. I also know of people who have chosen not to drive because of their diabetes but that was their choice and not a doctor's order. There was no way that diabetes would stop someone from driving. I decided to check online and sure enough, if you look at the CDA website (www.diabetes.ca) you can find links that tell you exactly when your license will be pulled. Now an employee of a group dealing with diabetes should have been able to access this information just as easily as I did and offer correct and less misleading advice. This scares me.

February 12, 2009 Puberty and winter...does it get any more fun? We have had hormones raging and basals going up and up. Stormy, cold days and minimal activity levels meant more and more highs to deal with. I changed everything. We had some good days for a change and then it began, that downward spiral of lows! The weather has gotten a little less harsh and a lot more fun for an 11 year old. The snow is perfect for tunnels, forts and snowball fights. Activity is high. Fun is top on the list. And blood sugar levels? Well they are steadily lower and lower. Liam is great at feeling his lows when awake. He has caught a lot and its a good thing because there seems to be a lot lately! They have been at school and at home. I have made adjustments and then made adjustments again. Oh the fun of diabetes!

February 9, 2009 Life just keeps getting better! I hadn't looked at Liam's log sheet from the weekend. I knew that there was the no testing while at a birthday party. I was trying to save myself from a complete meltdown...wrong! You see his "logging" consisted of writing down a few readings, noting the occasional bolus and that was it. When I asked why he bothered to only go half way? How am I suppose to fix anything or know what the real problem is like that I didn't get any answer. When I asked if I should even bother writing things down for him and working with him as a team to keep him healthy I was told no. Yes I am about to blow a gasket or simply sit and cry!!! What the??????????

I offer help. I have kept him alive for almost 9 years now and he says, nope don't waste your time. I lost it! I said no problem. You live with the limb amputation and dialysis! You are going through puberty and need to make changes but hey, you live without those changes. You face the doctor and nurse when your care is horrible and your A1c suddenly through the roof.

I am absolutely dying here! He is still only young. I am suppose to guide and help so that I can let go but its one against the world it seems. How much are you suppose to take? I can't let him have a high A1c. I can't let him have complications--not under my watch but this one man show is HELL!

February 8, 2009 Urgh...I know my son is growing up. I know he has to go places on his own. I know that he has two homes, two parents and two sets of rules but URGH! Liam was invited to a birthday party this weekend. I knew nothing about it until it was over. When he came home I asked if he brought his meter with him. "No, but I should have huh?" DAH! Yes, your meter goes everywhere you do. What if you have been low? How did you test before you ate? Well he didn't but he claims he bolused for all that he ate. Actually he was more interested in the hard candy that he ate that plucked out one of his loose teeth. I will survive. I will survive. He will learn. I will not give up. His life is at stake. Urgh!

February 5, 2009 I am approaching burn out fast! I just want to sit and scream. Life has been more than just a little rough over this past month and diabetes just has not cared one bit! I had so many things I wanted to have done by now. On the plus side, I do have half of that list done and it is the half with the greatest revenues for the site so that keeps me in business and you reading about my frustrations!

As you know, Liam has been running high. I changed basals. I changed insulin to carb ratios. I have watched his insulin use go through the roof. I am going through more cartridges than I could have imagined. And what is the rule in life? What goes up must come down?? Well now we are starting to see the lows! The one blessing is that they are not at night--I am tired enough at night and can't sleep so I don't need those at the moment. They are at school, at home, and at any time that they may chose basically! I just love this rollercoaster!

February 3, 2009 Yesterday someone was asked how to treat a low. The answer given was juice retest, if still low give the child a sandwich. The person claimed to be an expert because the child had been living with the disease for almost 9 years. The problem with this scenario was/is two fold. First when someone is low its juice or fast acting glucose, test in 15 minutes, if still low repeat. IF the person is on a long acting insulin like NPH then once the low is dealt with you give a 15g sandwich or cracker with a protein to sustain the proper level. If you give the complex carb and protein BEFORE the bg level is back in range then it is harder to bring up the low.  Second problem was the fact that this child had been pumping for 6 years now. He should never be given a sandwich at any point to treat a low. Suspend the pump in the worst case scenario but you don't add food like that. Okay maybe I would if I knew that it was a high activity day and he was going to be active but at night? No. Reduce the basal, shut things down in an emergency but do not add complex carbs. "Experts" who know all but don't pay attention scare me.

I had this conversation with Liam. I reminded him that he does not eat a meal when low. He said, you try saying no to food when you are low! I said...tough! That's what sends you sky high later. If in doubt...call your mother!  

February 2, 2009 Well this was a very important day in my life. It was a day that I hope will close some doors to my past and allow a few more windows to be opened in my life. It was also a day that I will never forget because of cruel and brutal attack launched on me at the end of the day.

As a small background, I was in divorce court. My marriage ended years ago but there have been a few outstanding issues that could not be resolved by any other means than trial so we got to spend our day in front of a judge yesterday. It was not something I would recommend to anyone. It was painful. It was stressful. It was emotional. I was told that I held my own and I am praying for the best in certain areas. Some things are not that important to me...ironically the money issues are not my biggest worry. There were other issues on the table much more important to me.

The worst part of the day came as the lawyers made their closing remarks. I understand that it is the other lawyer's job to paint me in the worst of lights. I understand that I was exceptionally emotional because of the nature of the trial and the fact that a dear friend of mine was clinging for life at the same time. All of that being said, the words that were used cut me as deeply as if I had been laid out on an alter and my heart and entrails sliced and diced for all the world to see while I lay there watching. I was basically called a useless dreamer who needed to grow up. My work here was nothing but a pipedream and it was time for me to step into the real world. This notion of living the retired life and helping people for free was beyond ridiculous and I needed a reality check. Nothing I had done over the past six plus years had any value. The people I had helped meant nothing. The growing business aspect of this site was a fantasy. The important resource I thought I provided was in fact a fallacy. I was not important. This site was not important. I was a waste of space who needed to get on with the reality of living in a cold real world.

He hit on every deep seeded fear and insecurity. He made me question everything. I cried in court. I sobbed on the two hour drive home. I know I have helped people. You have told me so. I know that my site is second to none...too many industry professionals have told me that. I know I am good at what I do. I know I make a huge difference. I know that I cannot stop this. I know it will only grow. I know that it is growing as more people are coming to me looking to be a part of Diabetes Advocacy. My lawyer told me that the opposition had to tear me down as I was too good. It still cut me to the very core and took a lot to pull myself back.

It did motivate me to make sure I get working on having my book published. It also left a few seeds for a next book. 

February 1, 2009 Right now the government of Newfoundland and Labrador is currently traveling around the province listening to groups speak on what they would like to see in the upcoming spring budget. If you can't make it to one of the pre-budget consultations, you are invited to submit your suggestion via email. Before this process began, I sat with a group who met with one of the provincial Ministers. She suggested that it was vital that we get our message about adult insulin pump coverage out to the committee as often as possible. We were to hammer them again and again at each venue. We were to give the same presentation until they knew it off by heart. Great idea but we didn't know it was going on until it had already started. We had people willing to speak but once they were available it was too late to make the application to be heard. We had one more option...we would email. I had everyone who said that they would speak, email our information to budgetsubmissions@gov.nl.ca We will get an adult insulin pump program in this province. If you support this concept, please send a letter to that address. If you would like a copy of our letter to use, please contact us. 

Its funny though, we were told what to do by a high ranking government power. It has worked in the past and yet I have had so many people negate what we are trying to do. We have a $1.3million proposal that would see insulin pump coverage for ALL adults with type 1 diabetes in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador. Some people feel that well, we think we are going to get it for young adults so let's leave it there. Why should we? Why should retirees have to return their pumps when their work coverage runs out? Why should adults who turned 18 before the pump program and now are in the late 20s still not be allowed to pump?  Our young adults are leaving the province for better paying jobs and those with type 1 diabetes are forced to do so just so that they can afford to stay alive and healthy. Why should that be acceptable??

January 2009

January 28, 2009 Well we have made major changes to basal and bolus rates. I know its not something that I would normally do. You make one change, wait three days and then analyze. This was an exception. I am battling puberty and Liam says he is tired of changing sites and correcting. We finally have some lows. Not at night but I haven't seen enough night time numbers to make those changes quite yet. Oh the joys. I have had one sleepless night but then Liam was at his father's so I can't really check things. He is home tonight so good-bye sleep...like I do that anyway, and hello more testing!!

This puberty thing is such fun already! Insulin cartridges that are being used like crazy. I am getting my practice at getting all of the air out. You really are best off filling when the insulin is room temperature. Liam is getting protective over where he wants sites so I am going to have to be a bit more involved again on site choices. Rotating is vital. And I thought diabetes was a lovely rollercoaster beforehand!

January 26, 2009 Less than 24 hours into the serious logging and teaching and I am already losing it fast. Liam had a low on Saturday night. The problem? Well retesting, logging what was used to treat and did I mention retesting, seems to be lacking. I have numbers that should come down across the board but nights were okay before the weekend and the highs could easily be from over-treating or a rebound. Over-treating I can live with, the rebound makes me nervous. I tried to get that through his head but I think his skull is a little thick and I am not holding out for it to have got through. And I have how many more years of this??? Oh my!!!

January 25, 2009 You can take him anywhere but heaven only knows how well he is dressed up. At 11 years old, one would think that my child could dress himself. After having the same mother for all of those 11 years, you would think the he would have learned to wear clean clothes when he was taken out in public...actually clean clothes on a daily basis are required but stained clothes definitely do not leave the house! Wrong Mom. As I was waiting in my doctor's office the other day, I looked across and saw my son's dark blue jeans had something that looked like greased on the thighs. What the heck was he doing out in public like that and what did he have on his pants??? I asked why he was wearing grease-stained pants. He said he wasn't. He was wearing blood stained pants. It would seem that he had been testing and wiping the blood on his jeans! OY!!!

January 24, 2009 Yesterday was a snow day but our snow squalls came and went. By late in the morning I made the decision to keep a doctor's appointment that I had two hours away. The weather was good at both ends and I only had to worry about the weather in the middle. We packed up water, meter, kit and some snacks and were on our way. Liam set his travel basal and was proud of himself for remembering. He had a right to be proud. I was impressed as well.

Travelling such a distance meant that we would have to have two meals on the road. Meals on the road do not tend to lead to best nutritional choices. I have been trying desperately to teach Liam how to make the best choices that he can given the menus at his disposal. Yesterday he did quite well. Lunch was at a well known coffee establishment. They offer a choice of sandwiches but of course give you a donut for dessert. Liam chose the healthy sandwich and enjoyed his not so healthy donut. We must have guessed the carbs properly because he was in range after that. I really should put some of their nutritional information into his pump as this is a choice we do tend to make. It provides a better choice that a meal that is all fried and grease based.  Before we got home we had to decide if we were going to buy dinner on the road or wait until we got home. Having two young boys with me, the choice was eat now!

The second choice was a bit more difficult. We went to a fast-food restaurant. Like many places, they are offering more healthy choice but always look at you funny when you ask for those alternatives. Liam knew what he wanted but wasn't sure that he would be allowed to have it. He wanted a hamburger...a large burger but was willing to forego the fries for a salad. I agreed that that was a good decision and ordered a salad with my meal as well. He bolused using an extended bolus, added his travel basal and Mom waited to see what would happen. Once again we had success! Liam was in range for the night AND the overnight! Yep a happy dance was had by Mom!

January 23, 2009 Yikes!!! It has finally happened...my baby has reached puberty! As a parent that is hard enough to deal with...two boys now going through huge hormonal changes. As a parent of a child with diabetes the idea of  that child going through puberty is a whole new ballgame.  Insulin needs have been steadily going up. A cartridge of insulin that was once filled to 200 units and thrown out with insulin to spare after one week is now filled with 300 units and must be changed long before one week is finished. Highs are now the norm rather than lows. This is going to take a lot of work. Time to pull back out the log books...and I was getting so good at being less anal on that. Time to get back to it and now its time to start to really teach Liam about what I am doing and why. His is only a baby...he shouldn't have to learn this yet!

Okay so he is not exactly a baby. He is growing and will soon be taller than me. His weight will catch mine within the next year or so. I can wear some of his clothes but what the heck?? He is still and always will be my baby. I tell his older brother the same thing and he is now almost 5'8" and outweighs me by close to 30 pounds.  At least with my first child I only have to deal with hormones and attitude...he is pretty good actually but it is still stressful. How in the world will I handle hormonal changes AND the psychotic nature highs? Liam is a complete Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde when high versus in range. Our work is going to be cut out for us. We really have to strive for the very best of control for all of our sake!

January 22, 2009 It amazes me how popular our tattoo page is. Something that began as a dare became a wonderful advocacy idea and now? It has a life of its own. I love it when people share their new tattoos with us and how they were inspired by our page to go out and have one done.

So many people were upset by the fact that I had the tattoo done and publicized it. I caused a huge commotion and ended up having to sever some of my advocacy connections. It would appear that I was right, that this was a fabulous long term advocacy tool. When I meet people who have heard of my tattoo, its always something that they are looking for. For those who haven't been there in a bit, here it is again. Read the story behind in on our tattoo page...

January 20, 2009 Last night I spent the night wondering which way Liam was going to go. He was 5.4 (90ish mgdl) before I went to bed. He eventually went up and I was glad that I hadn't given him any glucose. By the morning he was in good range. I was happy. Breakfast was completed and my children headed off to school.  I began my fight with my internet connection that lasted the entire day and led to a few more grey hairs.

By 1pm, I got "the call". They only happen when Liam is so high or so low that his teacher is completely freaked out and at a loss. He has taught Liam for three years now so it takes a bit before he needs to call me. When the phone shows the school telephone number my heart stops beating for a few minutes. Today was no different. When the teacher told me he was glad he had the clear phone line I knew that we were in trouble. Sure enough Liam had been high since 9am and instead of going down he just kept climbing and climbing. It was not pretty. To make matters worse Liam had told his teacher that he was "sick and tired of changing sites" and said "just look at my arms!".  His teacher said that Liam sounded completely defeated and absolutely sick and tired of diabetes. His heart broke for him and he was at a loss as to what to do to avoid a site change. He had already had Liam check his tubing for air. What should he do? I said that I would come up and give Liam an injection. I would deal with the site later. I headed up to the school with syringe and insulin in hand. As I checked Liam's tubing, sure enough I found a bit of air. I primed everything out and gave Liam his injection. Sure enough he eventually came down. The site seems to be working perfectly fine now. Oh the joys of diabetes!

January 19, 2009 I love highs. They are such fun. Not only do we get to deal with the fear of ketoacidosis and long term damage but we get to deal with the incredible mood that goes with it. After almost 9 years, you would think that there would be a bit of compassion in my house when Liam goes high. Wrong! It becomes the time to test him to the limits. Its the time to see who goes over the edge first--mom or Liam. Today I swear I had two two year olds in my house again. The fight was on. The torture was non-stop until Liam was screaming and crying. My blood was boiling. It was another snow day. Liam had been high and for some reason was not coming down but staying just out of range. His personality? It left a LOT to be desired. When things blew they really blew. The irony, by the afternoon he was in range and Mr. Charm and Personality. I hate diabetes!

January 16, 2009 I have been having troubles with my car. I have put all sorts of new parts into it but I am not a mechanic and each thing costs me a small fortune. I also don't happen to have any mechanically inclined people hanging around me so on Monday when I went to warm up my car before picking up Liam from school and the key refused to turn I was done!

I refused to put another dime into it. I was frustrated. I am choked. I had places to be that required my car. I cannot live without my car. I live in a remote area. Everywhere requires travel. Everything I do needs a car. Thankfully a very good friend agreed to go car shopping with me the very next day. My budget was somewhat limited because I am still paying some of the millions that I have put into my old car.

Friends teased me that a dealer would see me coming. We were two women shopping for a care. I know very little about cars but we were armed with a list of musts and must nots. I was confident. My friend is an incredible negotiator and I can hold my own. We found a new car I could love. I came home knowing that I had bought a red car and it had two sets of tires. Most importantly for me, it had a good warranty. I was happy.

Now I still have my old car sitting in front of my house. At one point I will either have to fix the ignition or find someone to buy it as is. Either way, the boys and I were discussing keeping my new car clean. I didn't want food stains in there. My oldest piped up that that was Liam's fault...I said no the blood stains all over the place are Liam's fault. We all agreed that someone looking in my car or a CSI detective spraying that luminal in my car would think that someone had been murdered in the backseat. I try to clean up the stains as soon as I find them but I have had my car for a few years and Liam is notorious for wiping blood where ever!

January 15, 2009 We have finally been getting our normal killer snow falls. This means snow days and kids that are either exceptionally active or couch potatoes. Yesterday for some reason I waited until my boys had gone to their father's before I began to clear the snow from my driveway. It took my three hours and my body was very weary when I came in.

As I slowly peeled off my wet snow gear, I bent over to pick up the glove that I had dropped. It was a painful stretch to get down there but I was rewarded with a stray test strip that was sitting on my floor. With great effort I grabbed the strip and wondered why I have to find them everywhere.  I was absolutely exhausted and not smelling the best so I ran a tub to relax my aching muscles. Of course as I ran the tub I found a used infusion set sitting on the side of my tub. The 2 feet it had to go to reach a garbage can was obviously way too much for it.

Warm and relaxed, I settled myself on my couch to unwind for the evening. As I lay back I noticed the assortment of items sitting on my coffee table--6 dead test strips, a length of tubing, and a meter case minus the meter. I can't get away from this stuff!!

January 11, 2009 For a variety of reasons, I have not been able to sleep at night lately. I toss and turn. I doze. I wake. I see the hours ticking by on my clock. I wake praying for a snow day and some sort of sleep that I know will not happen. It doesn't matter if Liam is home or not. Suddenly I am awake each night thinking that Liam needs to be tested. I lay in my bed dying and desperate NOT to get up. I don't want to leave the warmth of my bed. I don't want to move. I really, really want to sleep but I kick myself out of bed and test. On those nights when Liam isn't here, I then have to remind myself that it is okay for me to crawl right back into bed because the dog will not want me testing her.

As I live through this torment, more and more of my American friends are singing the praises of their CGMS technology. They are bragging about the sleep they are getting. They love the accuracy they are seeing. They love the remote control by their bedsides. I have bags under my eyes and they have tears of joy filling their's. Don't get me wrong. I am overjoyed for them...and extremely jealous for me! I know that the initial machine will cost me probably close to $2000 when it crosses the border. I know that the sensors will be incredibly expensive and make me wonder if I can truly afford this or not.  On the other hand, a friend recently said that their CGMS was more than worth it because it allowed Mom to sleep and thereby was prolonging her life. The chance for Mom to sleep??? Where do I sign up? Who do I harass to get this across the border? Do they want me to just test it for them?

Sleep, peace of mind, what a fantasy!!! Oh please bring one to my home soon!!!

Abbott's Freesyle Navigator

January 4, 2009 Back to school again. It has been nice having a break from early mornings and trying to figure out new and creative meals for lunch. I have one child with access to a microwave and one without. My creative energies for lunches tend to give out very quickly. Add to that the fact that I just started to get Liam's night time basal rates back under control and he is heading back to school again. More changes I am sure as activity levels will change once again. Winter is here. School is in. Oh the joys!

Back to school when you have diabetes means more than just having to be creative about lunches. It means bringing back out log books. It means the calculator comes out, carb counts are noted twice--once for Liam and once for his teacher, and sticky notes are all over food. Its thinking about balance, gym class and outdoor activities rather than hands on control for testing and eating. Ah the fun of diabetes!

January 2, 2009 We are probably the only area in the entire country that has had very little snow this winter. Even when the snow has arrived and I have had to shovel, the rain as come back and taken away most of it. I have been a very happy camper but my children have not been. They are dying for snow so when there was a bit on the ground today Liam was quick to haul his brother outside for a snowball fight. They spent lots of time building shelters, stockpiling snow and preparing for the great battle. As they were doing this one thing went through my mind...he is going to go low. I have to interrupt this for Liam to test. He can't keep playing. He has to come in. I really didn't want to call him in. I didn't want him to stop being a kid in the snow. Thankfully he got thirsty and came in on his own. I had him test and surprise, surprise--he was low! Urgh! Why couldn't I be wrong? Juice, yogurt, sit for a bit, retest and then back to play. I hate diabetes. Why can't a kid just be a kid in the snow?

January 1, 2009 Wow! Did that ever feel strange to write! We all know that some truly great things happened in 2008. We saw more pump coverage. We have seen new pumps and more CGMS technology hit the markets. We have played with new meters and established new friends as too many more people have become afflicted by this horrid disease.

For me, my baby has begun to grow and take charge of his disease. He is slowly learning how deadly this disease can be and why he needs to look after himself. He has learned to appreciate what I do for him and see that he feels better when he is in range. Liam has always been my silly, immature child. It is so strange to watch him becoming a young man. Letting go of both my children is difficult but thanks to the incredible friends that this disease has brought me, I am carefully finding my way.

2008 for some reason was a bit of my burn-out year. I somehow managed to get through the year but I did not have the same passion and strength that I normally do. 2009 is going to see that change!!! I have three major goals for 2009. First I will see an Adult Insulin Pump Program come to Newfoundland and Labrador.  For those living in this province who would like to help out...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE contact me!!! We need your help in getting the message out at pre-budget consultations! The government is close on this, we just have to give them that extra push!

My second goal for 2009 is to see my book published. Yes I have written a book about our life with diabetes--from diagnosis to advocate.  I truly hope it will help those who are newly diagnosed know that they are not alone.  I also would like the mainstream to read this and learn what the fuss about diabetes is all about. The few people who have read it so far feel that it is a very powerful story...now I hope to find a publisher who agrees! If you know a publisher let me know!!

My third goal is to truly make Diabetes Advocacy the website in Canada for diabetes information and support. I want to make sure that all items are up to date. That blogs help people to know that they are not alone. To see more use of our forum and basically...help more and more people!! We already have over 500 people read our site each day. I want to continue to see that number increase!