New Age, New Worries


I hate to think about it.

I can feel my stomach start to churn.

This isn’t right.

My son is 19.  He has stumbled along, trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life.  It has been a challenge but he is meeting it.  Slowly he is  making his way.

Unlike his brother who finished high school and instantly knew what he wanted to do in terms of a career, my youngest son has been a bit more uncertain.  He has applied for a variety of trades but finding the right fit isn’t easy.

He needs a job with great benefits. He wants something that will interest him.  He needs to be employable in a slumping economy.  It can be a challenge for any young person.

He isn’t just any young person however.  He is a young person with diabetes and  diabetes doesn’t care that he doesn’t know what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

Diabetes doesn’t care that he may soon be removed from his parent’s insurance plan.

Diabetes doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a job with insurance.

Diabetes doesn’t care that his provincial drug plan offers very little assistance.

Diabetes demands that he check bg levels multiple times per day.  He still must find insulin to use daily. He is required  to make appointments and order insulin pump supplies. Diabetes doesn’t care how he does any of these things but if he wants to live, he has to find a way.

He is just 19.  He should be concerned with going to school. He should be concerned with finding a career path.  He shouldn’t be concerned with health care costs.

The reality is that those are things that he has to be concerned with however.  He is still in school but will insurance still recognize this? I am not sure.

There is some help for pump supplies in our province but because of some of his own mis-steps, his coverage has lapsed. Together we will work on getting him back in the program but it will take time.

There is a provincial drug plan.  They  allow you a set number of test strips for the year but some strips covered will be better than none when the time comes.

Some days the reality of life with an expensive illness…well its overwhelming despite the fact that I am not  the person who has to test or inject daily.  He understands that it will be expensive.  This is his life. It has been for loner than he can remember. It still makes my heart ache. I still wish that I could take it away.

I can’t. We will do our best and that will be fine.

Eating your young or life as a harp seal?

Last night I woke up later than I should to test my son.  I cursed at myself as I stumbled in his room and was grateful to hear the soft sound of snoring coming from his bed. The test showed that he was high. Did he change his site like I asked him? I checked the history and yes he finally had.  While I was up I checked his meter history.  The meter I was using had my tests only.  Hmmm…I found a second meter. It was still seriously lacking some readings but it appeared to be his meter of choice for the weekend.

I silently fumed. He had missed more tests than he had done. I had specifically told him at points during the day to test and nothing was done! I knew he ate a bowl of popcorn at around 10pm and no test before.  I once again felt a kinship to those animals that ate their young.  They had it right I was certain!

I headed back to bed trying to put my frustrations out of my mind so that I could fall back to sleep.  It took a bit of work. This weekend we had been focusing on school not diabetes. I had believed my son when he told me he was studying. I trusted him when he swore he knew the concepts for the upcoming exams.  I had allowed him to read his novel at his own pace not realizing that there was a book report that would soon be due.

Freedom was short lived as my son came home with low marks and a novel with three chapters read that was to be finished and have a book report completed on it in less than five days time.  I was so not impressed but tried to appease myself with the fact that he hadn’t lied about the horrible marks.  With a math test looming and a book report that had to be completed in short order, his weekend plans of Xbox and Beverley Hillbillies was derailed by his mother. It was time for him to be put back on a short leash. Homework first, play when Mom says its okay.

All of this now played on my mind. I had been harping about school work, now I would complain about diabetes care. Do I ever stop? I must be sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher by now.  There is no way he will pay attention to anything I say.  How will I get it to sink in? Yes, eating my children when they were young could have saved me these problems.

I finally wound down and went to sleep. The next morning I calmly discussed the issue of testing with my son. Will he change? Did he hear me? Will he pay more attention to testing? Will I harp on his a little less? Probably not to most or all of the above.  I will try not to nag but will continue to remind him and provide consequences for his actions–or lack of them.  Oh the joys of parenting!