Category Archives: diabetes humor

Diabetes Greeting Cards

Yes, you read that right…Diabetes Greeting Cards!

I often get requests from people who want to share a post on my blog. They want to write about how to cure your diabetes by eating their miracle food. They want to tell my readers all about their awesome socks that will instantly cure all that ails you and things that you didn’t even know were ailing you. Once in a blue moon, someone will send me something relevant and I will think about posting what they send me.

A few weeks ago I received a request from a woman who wanted to promote her greeting cards. My first thought was…wow! She called me Barb and not “Dear Advocacy”. I decided to read a bit further. They had a really interesting concepts, they were cards for people with diabetes but they weren’t stupid. They were actually kind of cute. Enough from me on the subject though….

I’m Nene Adams and I’m an insulin dependent Type II diabetic. I’ve also been a greeting card designer since 2007.

Following a stay of several weeks in the hospital for a diabetes related medical problem, I was inspired to do some research into diabetes. I learned a lot, including the fact that there seemed to be very few greeting cards designed specifically for diabetics.I thought there needed to be more and better choices for a group of people the mainstream card retailers were ignoring.

Me and my partner, Corrie Kuipers, have teamed up with a few other talented artists – Doreen Erhardt, Betsy Cush and Sharon Fernleaf – to create a line of greeting cards for children and teenagers/young adults with diabetes. The messages are positive and supportive, not just a generic “get well.” The images are colorful and often humorous in each artist’s distinctive style.

We hope these cards will help inspire and encourage diabetic kids and their loved ones. http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/get-well-feel-better-cards/diabetes

Mom! It looks like I’ve Been Shot…Again

In honor of Throwback Thursday, here is a humorous post from May 4th, 2010. Enjoy!

Last night I wrestled my son to the ground and later heard about the consequences. You see said child, admitted that no he hadn’t been spending his time mulling over the perfect gifts to purchase for his devoted mother for either Mother’s Day or her birthday.  In some countries I am sure his actions would have constituted a hanging offense but in our house in meant that I tackled him, interrupted his Wii game, pinned him down and tickled him.  Thankfully I still have a few pounds and an inch or two on him so I can still win. 


The downside to this fun when you have a child on an insulin pump who wears sites in his leg is obvious to those of us who live there.  After the screams of “I’ve gotta pee!!!!”, came the grumblings of “You pulled out my site!”.  With the cost of pump supplies being covered for us, it felt good to say “Well, just go and change it.”  Once upon a time, I would have cried at the $20+ that I had just wasted even if it was in the name of fun. 


Being a teen, my son was in no rush to change the site and Mom had visions of highs for the rest of the evening.  The longer he waited, the less insulin he would get, the higher his bg levels would climb I was sure.  Again, being a teen and being my son, he stated that the site was salvageable and he had simply taped it in place.  I was worried.  Was the site really still in? Yes he assured me as he headed off to the shower.  His grumbling about being bested by his mother had been replaced by the comment that if Mom could wrestle him then wrestling with his brother should once again be allowed (It was discontinued after brother’s elbow met son’s eye and left a nasty shiner).  I attempted to burst his bubble but he still was quite proud of his logic as he headed off for his marathon shower. 


Once he undressed he proclaimed “Mom, I look like I have been shot!”  What did that mean? He told me that there was blood all over his leg.  I said that was it, the site was gone! He had to change it.  He proceeded to shower and I never got to really check out the damage.  He kindly left the dead and bloodied site in the shower for me though.  Ironically he was disgusted when he found it on top of an envelope later.  I had taken a picture and left it for him. He told me that the site should be in the garbage! Um, who left it in the shower to start with? Oy!

Hello…I am a Glucometer

Diabetes Blog Week
Write a short story personifying a diabetes tool you use on a daily basis. A meter, syringe, pump, pill, etc. Give it a personality and a name and let it speak through you. What would it be happy about, upset about, mad about?  (Thank you Heather of Unexpected Blues for this topic.)

Hello, my name is Fred and I am a glucometer.  You would think with a job as important as mine that I would get a lot of respect but I don’t.  I am shoved in dark pockets, thrown around and basically taken for granted. Its a very rough life.

I am expected to be ready for service at all times of the day. It doesn’t matter if I worked hard all day, they still expect me to be bright-eyed and shining at three in the morning. And when I say shining, I mean that they really want me to light up all nice and bright showing them glowing pretty numbers. When they are done with me, they just toss me off to the side again.

My job is tireless.  They smear blood all over me.  They curse at me when they don’t like what the reading is.  Like that is my fault? How is it that I control what their blood glucose is going to be? I deserve a lot more respect.

The only time I get respect is when the parents or the doctor take a look at me.  They know how important I am.  They look at my display as if they are reading a holy gospel.  They value me and my knowledge.  My owner? Well, he looks at me like I am a rock, a burden that he is forced to carry around. I am the unwanted younger brother that he has to take everywhere.

Why does he have to think of me that way? It hurts my feelings. I am just trying to do my job. I am trying to work with him to keep him healthy.  I know that it can be tedious. It’s not picnic for me either. I mean, I have to be on all of the time! There is no time when I can be just a little less accurate. I have to bring my A-game every time we meet.  Its exhausting but I don’t get any praise or appreciation.

He just doesn’t get it and some times I get mad as well and when I do, I get even in my own way.  When he just grumpily and shoves a strip in me and expects me to instantly produce results, I come back and tell him “Error 4″.  Oh does that get his goat! He has to retest and take his time to treat me a little nicer–getting all of his blood just so on the test strip so that I will read it for him.  After he has done that, I reward him by saying “HI” but he doesn’t often see the humor in that one. I don’t understand why.  Isn’t it important to be friendly now and then? Perhaps if he could be a little nicer, we could work together a bit better and I wouldn’t have to resort to cheap jibes.

Maybe one day he will get it. One day he might understand how important I am! Oh well, at least he takes me most places. I usually only hear about the spots that we go to from the inside of a pocket but at least I get to tag along.  It’s not easy being me.  I guess it’s not easy being him either, but I still say, “work with me dude! It will make things so much easier!”  Darn! I shouldn’t have said that so loud, here comes another check. Back to work!

hi meter

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Do not clean with soap and water

Today my phone went in for a cleaning. It wasn’t supposed to be cleaned but somehow it stayed in my pocket when the item I had been wearing before my shower went in to be washed.  Something told me to check my pockets before tossing it in soap and water but in my morning fog I forgot.  A little while later, in a bit more of a panic, I checked the now wet pockets. Nothing in the first pocket! Perhaps I was safe.  I checked the submerged pocket…it was heavy.  That could be water weighing it down…Or it could be my phone.  Crap!

I began drying my phone, watching the screen flicker, wondering what I will have lost this time since I hadn’t backed it up, and finally pulling the battery and sticking it in a bag of rice.
I am not sure if my phone will survive. Part of me says, “Yes it will! I caught it early. There wasn’t much dampness in it. It will be fine!” Another part says, “Dude you are screwed! There was some sort of red dye that I wiped off when I was drying it. I am guessing that is one of those markers that tell manufacturers that it was submerged. This is not good. ”

Yes, I wanted a new phone. My phone has been acting weird and basically annoying me for months but I want the latest iPhone. I don’t want the current version when a new one will be out a few months after this one. I don’t want to pay for a phone this month that in two months will be free because it is now the older generation.

I won’t get ahead of myself. For now, I remain phone-less for at least the next 24 hours. That feels weird. I have had a cell phone for 14 years now.  It was an essential part of our life with diabetes. It allowed me to be away from home and still in reach of my children or any adult supervising my children. It allowed teachers to call and ask me a question whether I was at home or in a meeting or grocery shopping.

As we learned to text, it allowed my youngest son to send me messages about bg levels or issues he was having when he was away from me.  It allowed me to keep track of what was going on with his diabetes care no matter where either of us were.

Being phone-less means that I can’t do any of these things…at least not as easily.  Previously this situation would have thrown me into complete chaos.  While I am going through personal withdrawals because I like to text someone when I am thinking of them, it is not the catastrophe that I would have once thought it was.

There is a land line that people can reach me on if a life threatening issue arises. I have access to email and online accounts if someone needs to reach out.  I may not answer these questions while I am shopping or running errands but I will get to them at one point.
I am not panicked because my kids cannot immediately call or text.  They can still contact me. They can take care of most issues on their own…even the diabetes related ones.  That is scary! It’s not scary that they can handle things, its scary that I have reached a point that I know that they can! They are not just growing up but I am learning to let them fly!  

It still feels very weird not having my phone (and it has only been two hours!) but it is equally wonderful to know that my kids are okay on their own.  I no longer have to be there to walk them through emergency site changes or trouble shoot a high. My youngest has got this…most of the time and for those other times, well, we will talk about it when we get the chance. 
wet phone

Looks Can Be Deceiving

For the past few weeks, I have been going through old photos for a variety of reasons. I came across this picture.  My young son looks so sweet and innocent.
 
You would think such a picture would evoke the “ahhhs” of a mother right? Wrong! I know the stories behind this precious image. I remember the many faces of this child during those long car rides that were less than sweet. 
 
liam asleep july 2003
It was the summer of 2003 and my mother, my sons, and I were driving across Canada to see friends and spend time with family. It truly was an amazing trip but we also had diabetes along for the ride and so the challenges were a little more. 
 
While driving for 8+ hours, I would read Harry Potter to my oldest son when my mom was behind the wheel. It killed time and seemed like a great idea. A four-year old who was high did not share those feelings.  At one point, that sweet little boy you see in the back seat, took a Harry Potter book and flung it across the car leaving a mark on my window.  We were done reading with him in a car for a bit.
 
Why was this child high? Well, it could have been the insulin that got cooked in the cooler in the trunk of the car.  It may have been the insulin pen that quit working but Mom did not realize it right away. It could have been the long hours in a car and not getting quite the right mix of long acting insulin to balance the drive. The reasons were plenty but the results were flying books and a need to pee at the most inopportune times.
 
He demanded that we pull over while speeding along in rush-hour traffic on a Vancouver freeway.  This resulted in the creative use of spare coffee cups and extreme gratitude that he was a boy.
 
Being high when traveling also meant that he demanded that we not proceed flowing  the pilot car despite being stuck in sweltering heat on an Ontario highway for hours.  We had been held up in the same spot for literally over an hour and he had not needed to use the washroom during that time but the second the truck came and allowed us to proceed, my sweet little angel began “the pee dance” and was adamant that we had to pull back over NOW!
 
When asked if I would do that trip again, my answer was always the same…in a heart beat. I didn’t mind having a 4 and 8-year old in the car with me for hours…most of the time.  We stopped and enjoyed parks to break up the days.  We met wonderful people and got a chance to see the Canadian landscape up close.  And we have memories….some very interesting memories!

Test Strips Really Do Reproduce!

Test Strip Graveyard
The other day I was sweeping the floors and made a discovery that shocked me. There had been one test strip laying on the floor outside of our downstairs bathroom. I have swept around it for weeks. My son left in January and diabetes trash has served to be small reminders of him.
 
Yes, this shows a small bit of my psychosis. I am an empty-nester who still has issues. I read about it online the other day. It basically said I was crazy and trash is trash but I am not alone in my insanity. I still have part of a cartridge sitting in my car because…well its something my youngest son used. Under normal circumstances, it would have long been thrown away and I would have yelled at him for leaving his junk in my car.  He moved away and suddenly this stuff is a treasured possession. Yes, I definitely have issues.
 
I have not left his room as a shrine (another thing noted in this article on empty nest syndrome). He actually complained the last time he was here because the bed in his room now has a shiny duvet cover that he did not feel was manly. His brother’s bed covering is much more neutral.  I talk to both of my sons on a regular basis.  They are still a big part of my life but still  I do smile now when I come across a test strip…until the other day. On that day I got a little creeped out!
 
As I have admitted, I will sweep around one test strip. I will leave a dead soldier on the floor of his room and smile as I walk by it to feed the fish.  I am not a hoarder nor am I into dirt and garbage piling up.  Subtle reminders in places that ideally only I see are fine but let’s not go overboard (see no white jackets required at the moment!).  The other day, as I moved my Swifter throughout the small bit of floor space on our lower level, I was surprised to see that the one test strip that I had been watching now had a friend. There were two test strips that had somehow found their way out of a garbage can and onto our floor. This was not good. I put them in a spot together and knew that they would have to be returned to the trash that day.
 
I continued to clean and tidy but was again surprised to find test strip number three! Okay, I have admitted to not picking up ONE test strip but honestly I do not keep a bunch garbage around “just because” it reminds me of one child.  There is a limit even for me so how did I end up with three used test strips on my downstairs floor? I have not had anyone in the house testing their blood in over six weeks. I honestly clean my house and my floors on a regular basis. There is no way for me to now have THREE test strips in one small area.
 
There was only one reasonable answer.  Test strips, like dust bunnies really do reproduce! If only we could get the unused ones to do this, a lot of people would be able to test a lot more for a lot less money!
 
The test strips have all been moved to the garbage can.  The question remains however…will they really stay there this time?

But the Debris Remains

As I noted before, my youngest son has chosen to finish high school in his hometown which is quite far from where I live.  Despite him being gone, diabetes waste continues to surface in the most likely and unlikely of places!
There were of course numerous test strips in the washer and dryer but that means that he was testing right?
D waste2 (6)
D waste2 (3)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There were strips behind the computer desk and hidden in various places on the floor.
d waste (1)d waste (2)
 
 
 
 
 
 There were also caps to insulin vials

d waste (4)

and used infusion sets 

D waste2 (7)

 

 
 
 
 
  
There were strips at the cabin.
D waste2 (5)D waste2 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

but my biggest surprise was when I opened a tote that was filled with photos and old frames and found a vial of insulin!

D waste2 (8)
My son may not be living with me full-time any more, but Diabetes is still making its presence known!
 
 
 

Another Diabetes Blessing

Last night I rolled over in bed, put my arm near my face and went…YUCK!

My son had dropped insulin on my arm! I was laying in bed when I realized that we had forgotten to reset his basals back to “school days” after 10 days of Easter vacation. 

He made his way into my room with pump and site change gear in hand. I told him that I just needed his pump but he said that his alarm had gone off earlier so he might as well do both. 

Holy cow! Was it a full moon yesterday? It must have been because his site change alarm went off AND he changed it the same day??? This was beyond belief! We did the site change, fixed the pump and he was on his way but unknown to me, he had left me that present…a large drop of insulin.

After my initial “YUCK!”  I had to laugh to myself.  Before diabetes moved into our lives, that smell was reserved for the opening of a BandAide brand bandaid.  You knew that the cut was safe and sanitized. Now it evokes new images of syringes, cartridges and life saving liquid. 

The smell is still rather disgusting when it arrives in the form of a puddle on your arm as you are trying to fall asleep but without it…well its definitely a blessing more than anything else.

It will be my wife’s job

“You need to do a site change.” 

My son replied, “I can’t do it by myself. Its in my arm. I can only do leg sites.”  

I asked him when this happened. He used to do almost all of site changes except the one arm that he couldn’t reach.  “What are you going to do when you leave home?”

“You are going to have to come over to where I am living and do it for me.  Not to worry though, I will stretch my site changes out to every four days to give you a bit of a break.”  He paused for a second thinking,”It will be a bit tougher though if I have to move away for work.  You will have to fly out to where ever I am.  I can’t afford to pay your travel though because I will need my entire pay cheque. I am sure you can work it out.”  

By now I am standing with my mouth hanging open truly amazed by his logic and my older son is rolling on the floor laughing at him.  My older son asked “How long do you expect her to travel?”

“Only until I get married. Once I have a wife it will be her job to do my site changes.”  

I pray he gets a wife that will see his logic!