Category Archives: empty nest

Test Strips…Its a Love-Hate Relationship

You can find test strips anywhere and everywhere.

I have found them in the stove and on the ground.

I have had people send me pictures of test strips in their coffee.

I have heard of people finding them in their refrigerators.  They are amazing little creatures that many of us swear are actually alive with the ability to move.  We put them in the garbage but somehow they escape!

When we live with diabetes all of the time, they are the bane of our existence.  They are a trail of breadcrumbs that may lead us to a loved one.01741ce750817f0bb842a77d37b600d36d278409fb

When the person with diabetes moves away, they are little feathers that remind us of our loved one and become sweet reminders. ..Well for me anyway. I seriously can’t throw them out. There is one in my car.  I had recently cleaned my car and rid myself of all test strips—and then my son came to visit.  There is now a new strip in my car.

There are always strips left in his room.IMG_0002.JPG (2)

I found one in our truck the other day.  I am not sure how it got there since the truck had been thoroughly cleaned more than once since he last rode in it.

The coolest test strips are the random ones you find that don’t belong to your loved one but are just like his/her’s and you feel a kinship to the person who dropped it.01adec7d2ccf29c15c14dd07e649cc1cc17abe5be1

We love test strips for the information that they readily provide.

We hate test strips for the ability to move on their own.

We love test strips for the little piece of someone else that they leave behind each time we spy them.

Or maybe its just me :)

 

Still Finding Feathers

My nest has been empty for over a month now and it still taking a bit to get used to.
My son has been quite good at making sure he uploads his pump for me to look at his readings. He appears to be testing more than once a day so I try to offer little criticism and simply make gentle suggestions where needed.
Moving diabetes to the back of my mind after all of these years is a challenge.  I still wake up a lot during the night. I still worry but that is what Moms do. I worry about both of my children. Diabetes just gives me one more thing to be concerned about.
I really don’t miss diabetes. I don’t miss having to get up in the middle of the night. I don’t miss wondering why he had a higher or lower reading than expected. I don’t miss time spent at diabetes clinics.  I don’t miss trying to figure out a new insulin pump.
I do however miss my son. Don’t get me wrong, I miss both of my boys but I have had a bit longer to get used to my oldest being away.  My youngest and I have spent a lot of time together over his lifetime.  His best friend is my best friend’s son.  We visited together. We went on trips together, we counted carbs together.  He is now enjoying life on his own–doing stuff without Mom always there. I am sure he is loving the freedom! It’s different for me.
I still miss walking into the kitchen and seeing him sat at the table surrounded by a fridge full of food.  I miss seeing his chin up bar dangling from a door way. I miss his dry, quick whit and timing. I miss the chicken fights that we would break into as we met in the hall. 
We text every day.  We talk at least once a week. I make sure that diabetes is the last thing that we discuss. It is rarely ever the very first. I ask about his day, his school work, his friends…then I ask about readings, meters and his pump. When he tells me “I screwed up.”  I try to remind him that his job as a pancreas is both unnatural and exceptionally difficult.  As long as he knows what he did wrong and he tries to fix it next time, its something to simply learn from and move forward.
I still find test strips in the most unusual of places.  There was one in my washer even though I have not done any of his laundry in ages.  We have a fridge full of insulin “just in case”.  There is a bottle of test strips that I found hidden in a box and part of an insulin cartridge that still sits in a place of honor in my car.
My new life of a Mom of children who no longer live at home is still very busy. My boys are always in my thoughts and their ability to stand on their own shows that I have taught them independence.  They will be home at Christmas.  I will savor every moment. I will fall back into the testing routine.
Life is changing.  Change is part of life but finding those little feathers (also known as diabetes waste) in hidden places of the house no longer make me grumble at their ability to “jump” out of the trash.  They now make me smile because they remind me of my son.
empty nest Dstyle