Exam week is winding down and hopefully so are my nerves. My oldest is very self-sufficient and pretty serious about his grades. My youngest, well this is his first time around.
I find myself nervous for both of them. I want them to do well. I check in with both of them each day. I am sending good luck and wisdom vibes each morning. They are both great students so they should do quite fine but there is always worry. Diabetes has added an entire new level of anxiety to the equation however.
As I have mentioned, we had been dealing with low, low, low and yep, more lows. I have dropped basal rates, added temporary rates, and changed carb to insulin ratios. Because he is in exams for only the morning and then off for the rest of the day, I had seriously thought of switching him over to our “weekend” basal rate. Then came the anxiety.
He was perfect on Monday for his first exam. Readings before and after were exactly where I wanted them. His performance was his own and was not marred by highs or lows. To change to the weekend pattern would adjust some of the early morning basals. This could mess with the perfection I had going! I couldn’t do it. I left things as they were, tweaking the “school day” rates.
All night I was anxious. I had anxiety attacks and woke up feeling horrible. Did I do right? Would he be okay for day 2? No, not really. Diabetes decided to mess with that and he ran high for exam number two. Day three was a bit better. He seemed in range although I can’t say for sure because he forgot to test when he started the exam but he was in range by the time he was done and reviewing what he had done.
Today is day four. He knows his stuff cold. Its science and he really seems to understand the concepts. I am hoping for some positive results so he can see that his hard work (Mom making him study for the past two weeks) really paid off. He is nervous about his last exam but he has decided to meet with his teacher for some extra help today before tomorrow’s exam. I am excited by the fact that he is beginning to take some responsibility for his grades without too much pestering from Mom.
Two more full days and I am shed myself of the “school days” anxiety. Two more days and we can fight with basal rates again without fear of messing with school testing. Two more days and I will have about 10 days to get his summer rates sorted before he heads off to spend time with his father and his brother. That will bring a new load of anxiety and stress as I worry about him testing and bolusing while he is away but we will take one set of worries at a time for now!