Category Archives: living with diabetes

Support in the Strangest of Places

I am an avid reader. I have loved to read since I was a child. If I could find a way to read for a living, I would be a very happy and ideally very rich person.  I read everything. I read action books, mysteries, spiritual books, diabetes books, and most recently a book about a mother of a girl who has anorexia.

I am not exactly sure what made me decide to open this book and read it.  Perhaps it is my own struggle with my body image. Perhaps it was the fact that is was a mother telling a story of her struggle with her child’s potentially lethal disease.  Whatever it was, this book quickly showed me that being a parent of a child with a disease–any disease, sadly puts you in a club with more similarities than differences.

Brave Girl Eating by Harriet Brown, first hit home when she wrote “you’re not to blame, you’re not alone, and you can make a difference in your child’s life“.  What a powerful statement! It needs to be a poster in our diabetes clinics.  It is a statement that each and every parent of a child with diabetes needs to fully understand and embrace.  As I have said before, we carry our own guilt and are further burdened by the misconceptions of others. We need to know that we are doing our very best and that is all that any one can ask.

For some reason, Ms. Brown seemed to make more than one comparison of life with anorexia and life with diabetes.  I am not sure if she knew someone living with diabetes or in her research she found some similarities but she does make reference to living with the disease on more than one occasion.  She also makes many statements that could easily apply to living with a child with diabetes.

She talks about feeling overwhelmed by her daughter’s illness and then feeling guilty about it. “I can take a walk, read a book, shut out the anorexia for a little while. But its insider her. She can’t get away, not for a second.” How many  parents of children with diabetes have felt that exact same way? How often have we felt guilty because we could sleep through the night when our child went away to camp or when we went on vacation and left them with a responsible parent or loved one? It hurts us to know that we can leave it behind but our children can’t.

She talks about things like her daughter lying to her about food and again the issue crosses over easily into life with diabetes.  In our case, our children tend to reach an age where they lie about food intake, insulin dosing, or bg level readings.  The violation of our trust is devastating either way and in both cases the lie is brought about by frustrations with a disease. It isn’t any better no matter where it comes from. The pain and sadness as a parent is equally overwhelming.

Ms. Brown talks about wondering if her daughter’s behavior is because of anorexia or simply because she is a teen?  When my son was small and would fall asleep during the day, I would panic and test him.  Was he sleeping because he was a toddler who was tired or was he low and had passed out? If he threw a tantrum, was he being a child full of spite and temper or was his rage fueled by high blood glucose and therefore he may not completely responsible for his actions? How did I decide? How did I find a balance with punishment? Like the author, I struggled.

In Brave Girl Eating, the author also talks about stigma.  In this case the stigma of a mental illness. In diabetes, we know that there are many stigmas and fighting the public’s misconceptions can often be almost as difficult as battling bg levels.  To make things even worse, there are an increased number of people living with diabetes who also are dealing with eating disorders (is it any wonder when their lives revolve around food 24/7) as well as depression.  They must understand this book in more ways than I can begin to imagine.  How painful.

Ms. Brown also speaks to the idea that anorexia has taught her to live in the moment. Ironically diabetes has had a similar effect on my own life.  Learning to live life four hours at a time was the only way for me to cope.  Nothing else mattered. Tomorrow was too far away but his NovoRapid would kick in within four hours and it could fix that high, maintain his perfect reading or be just enough to send him low and create more havoc for me.  Four hours–just get through four hours and then go forward.

As I mentioned, ironically she notes the similarity to diabetes more than once. In learning to live with the new normal of life with anorexia, she wrote, “I told her if she had diabetes, she’d have to test her blood sugar every day; at first it would be a pain, but she’d get used to it.  It would become just one of those things she had to do, like brushing her teeth.  It would become part of “normal” for her.”  We know that diabetes is a bit more than testing daily.  We know that you never really get used to lancing your finger each day, but it is something that has to be done…like brushing your teeth.  It is something that you somehow have to come to accept in order to move forward with your life.

Its funny where you find inspiration and camaraderie. I started this book because I was in part looking for insight into my own body image issues.  I finished this book realizing that parents of children fighting illnesses may have many more similarities than we thought possible.  When we open our minds and our hearts, we find support in the strangest of places.
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Looking from a distance

Diabetes Blog Week
Today is Saturday’s snapshots. At first I was a bit troubled by this.  What does my life with diabetes look like these days? Well its different than even one year ago.  Should I show pictures of my son’s life? I decided that I shouldn’t.  My pictures would be of my life with diabetes…living with it at a distance.

Now when I find test strips at the bottom of my purse, I don’t swear and wonder how they got there, I think of my youngest son and smile instead.
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My conversations are often done via text rather than in person…

















IMG_1494But we still get a chance to spend time together and share care when we can.

Four Hours, Just Four Hours

Diabetes Blog WeekYesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day.  Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day.  Is there something positive you tell yourself?  Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through?  Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost?  Maybe we’ve done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)

Is there a mantra that I fall back on to get me through a hard diabetes day? Absolutely! It is one that I share with newly diagnosed adults and parents who are struggling to get through. I remind them to look at life in four-hour blocks. If you take everything in four-hour strides and you can ride through anything.

When diabetes seems to be kicking your butt every morning, look at how things are going between lunch and supper. Are things okay? Give yourself a mental high-five and celebrate that victory rather than dwelling on the post-breakfast spike that this threatening to drive you over the edge.

Do overnights seem overwhelming? Again, break it down.  How are things from snack until 12 or 1am? What is life like in the deepest part of the night? Are things settled before breakfast or has chaos been awakened in those four hours? If you break it down into six four-hour periods, life becomes a bit more manageable and instead of seeing all of the bad, you can savor some of the good.

Why do I have a four-hour mantra? Because early on I learned that my son’s Humalog was supposed to last about 4 hours.  He was injected at 8am for breakfast, then at noon for lunch, around 5pm for supper and then again at 9pm for his nighttime snack.  I was going crazy trying to see a perfect 24 hour day. I realized that looking at a complete day was never going to make me happy. The only way to see success was to look at small chunks of time.  Coincidentally, that was also how we would make changes to his regimen.  Was his breakfast ratio of carbs to insulin off? How about at bedtime? Life was naturally being broken down into 4 hour chunks for me so why not work with that?

Now I know some of you will say, but we are using a pump so that won’t work for me.  Yes it will!  Chances are high that you are still doing things like having breakfast, lunch and supper.  You are probably still going to bed at one point as well. All of these events can be broken down and again my four-hour mantra applied.  Was I a successful pancreas this afternoon? Yes? AWESOME!! Let’s break out the happy dance!!! Did I have an issue after supper? Okay, let’s look at what can be done.

Life is less overwhelming in four-hour shots. It can be applied it outside of diabetes as well.  Are you wanting to change your eating habits? Did you have a great breakfast? Pat yourself on the back. Over did it at lunch? Do better tomorrow. Can you see how easily this works?

Life can be overwhelming.  As we discussed yesterday, life with diabetes can make it worse.  Taking life four hours at a time has allowed me to focus on what I need to change and to praise myself when I get it right…and we all need a lot more praise in our lives.
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The Blame Game

When a person is diagnosed with lung cancer do we blame them? Do we question their lifestyle and then make them feel ashamed? Do we minimize what has happened to them because they possibly brought in on themselves by not listening to the anti-smoking ads?
 
If a person is young and suffering from dementia do you blame them for drinking too much? Do we shun them because they should have dealt with their alcohol problem before it brought on a much larger issue?
 
We may shake our heads…and they might also.  We may wish that they had chosen a different lifestyle but we often also look at others who lived that exact same lifestyle and are fine.  We wonder why them?  We feel sad, but we do not blame the victim.
 
Why then does society feel that it is okay to blame people living with diabetes for their disease? As a parent of a child with diabetes, we are asked if we fed our children a lot of sugar.  It is suggested as mothers that we did not breastfeed our children long enough to ensure that they developed the proper antibodies to protect themselves from developing diabetes.  The list of non-sense reasons go on to the point that parents become frustrated and angry.  They try to distance themselves from people living with Type 2 diabetes which lives with its own stereotypes in hopes of making the blame go away.
 
People with Type 2 diabetes obviously caused their disease and are therefore to blame for everything. We know that it is a lifestyle disease that strikes people who are overweight, eat only fast food, and are terribly lazy.  It is all their own fault.  Because of their bad behaviors they are the causing  increased hospital costs, increased taxes to pay for those costs, and probably the reason that gas prices are so high!
 
Can you see the logic? You are right, there is none.  Diabetes seems to have a genetic component of some sort that is triggered by something. If we could figure out the hows and the whys, then we would have a cure and everyone would be quite happy.  Sadly, there is no cure. There is no definitive why.
 
As a parent of a child with diabetes, I know that I did not force feed my children large amounts of sugar.  My children were not given sweets when they were younger. They did not have a large amount of processed foods. They were breastfed for differing amounts of times and were both vaccinated on schedule.  Did I do something to cause my youngest son’s diabetes? I pray not but I have enough to deal with without delving into a myriad of “what ifs” on the subject.
 
My son lives with diabetes. He has for the past 14+ years. We have worked and continue to work to keep him as healthy as possible That takes a lot of time, effort and money to purchase the supplies and devices that are best for his care.  The financial cost of keeping him well is nothing compared to the return that the government will get by having a healthy, productive member of society contributing to their tax coffers for many years to come.
 
As person with Type 2 diabetes also faces many stereotypes.  They are overweight and therefore caused their disease.  They are out of shape and live off of fast food. Really? I know many overweight people who do not have diabetes. I have met athletes in great shape who have Type 2 diabetes.  Does body shape make either one of them any less important? Does their age mean that its their fault?
 
Do we blame a child for developing Type 1? No, they are innocent but we can blame their parents. They should have done more! Do we blame adults who find out that they are insulin dependent as well but it doesn’t happen until they are in their 20s?30s? or later? I mean they obviously screwed up somewhere as well right?
 
Are you starting to see the insanity? Why do we waste energy on blame? We do not blame the person with liver failure or dementia for their past lifestyle.  We do not suggest that the parents of a child with leukemia should have breastfed their little one for longer. Why then do we feel the need to blame people living with diabetes?
 
The answer is not changing a name. As Shakespeare says…”What is in a name? A rose by any other name smells just as sweet.”  Well diabetes–type 1 or type 2, is just as rotten a disease no matter what you call it. No matter what the name of the disease involving the improper use of production of insulin is, it is still a disease that happened TO someone. It is not a reason to shun or demean someone.
 
I can think of no other disease that is so misunderstood to the point of creating real danger. A lack of understanding about the serious nature of this disease can result in people with diabetes not having access to the best medications or devices. It can mean that when diagnosed, people with diabetes do not always understand the serious nature of the disease.  It can result in frustration and anger in people living with diabetes when they try to educate the general public, educators and even medical staff about the realities of the disease–its costs and the toll it takes on everyone involved.
 
It is time to end the blame game.  Diabetes sucks.  That is a fact that we must focus on. It is a very serious disease that does not care what color you are, how old you are or how big your wallet or insurance coverage is.  It will enter your life and change it completely.  It will threaten to end your life. It will always hover on the sidelines waiting to wreak havoc on your day. It must be stopped but sadly we must first end the blame and so that we can all focus on the cure.
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5 Things that I have learned about me over the past 14 years…

Diabetes has a very steep learning curve.  Some of us have no medical knowledge and yet are forced to learn about giving needles and drawing blood. We must learn about nutrition and exercise instantly.  We learn how to work with our children and help them to understand what is going on in their bodies.
 
In a moment, our world changes. As I have said before, it completely explodes your world and leaves you to work with a new landscape.  It does not end your world, it just ends that naive world in which you may have existed before. It certainly did for me. As we navigate this new landscape, we learn a lot about our relationships and about our children. I thought that today I would look at things that I have learned about me over the years…
 
1. I became more empathetic thanks to diabetes.  I like to think that I have always had empathy.  I try to never judge a book by its cover and I tried to teach my children to do the same.  We never know what is going on behind closed doors or what is going on inside another person’s body. Just because they look well does not mean that they are not struggling with something that we can’t see.
 
Kerri Sparling brilliantly illustrates this point in her book Balancing Diabetes.  If you haven’t read the book, you should do so.  You will read about her response to a dinner conversation in which one person slams a family member with diabetes who “eats whatever they want, and they never test their blood sugars, and they never go to the doctor.” (page 161) Kerri stands up for this unknown person and asks how they know that this person really doesn’t do all of these things? She had tested and bolused at the table without anyone knowing so perhaps this person did too.
 
Diabetes has brought me that same sort of need to defend others.  When you see my son, you think that he is perfectly healthy.  You don’t see his broken pancreas unless you look at his insulin pump and then many would still assume it is his phone.  I don’t want people to think that my son is broken. He isn’t but he does have to deal with things that other young men his age don’t.  He looks after his diabetes privately. He does not show people how much work goes into looking and being as healthy as he is.
 
2. I have an even bigger mouth than people thought. I have always believed that if you don’t like something speak up.  Things will not change if you mutter to yourself.  If you want to see things happen differently then talk to people who can help you to make that change. Listen to their perspective and together work to create something that you can both live with.
 
After my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, I had a greater need to fix things. I think every parent who goes through this diagnosis of a child has this same feeling on some level. We often feel that we let our child down by allowing them to develop diabetes (boy do we have egos! Like we could have stopped this?) Our only way to “fix” things is to work to make the world better for them.  We learn as much as we can, educate our schools to protect our children, and we work with our diabetes team to get the best care that works for our child.
 
Some people will write letters, lobby government officials, and become very active in educating the rest of the world about life with diabetes.  That was me.  I wrote letters. I started a website. I contacted government officials. I wanted life to be fair and just for all people living with diabetes. I wanted to protect my son and all of the other children out there living with this disease. I wanted to make things easier for them…and I still do. I stood up to administrators and Ministers of government. I learned that they were all just people who had families.  They were not scary people with a lot of power but loving people who were often willing to listen to you.
 
I always knew that I had a mouth. As I said, I always believed in standing up for what I believed in. I didn’t know that if I stood up for something others would stand with me and that together, I could lead people to create serious changes in policies.
 
3. I didn’t know that I could touch people’s lives as much as they touched mine. When my son was first diagnosed, I was lost and felt terribly alone. After a number of months, I reached out to a group of parents online.  They touched my life and helped me in more ways than I could imagine. The inspired me to do more.  I was therefore honored when I was asked to be a part of their Canadian Children with Diabetes Friends for Life conferences.
 
I am a huge fan of these conferences and all that they give to families living with diabetes. Each time that I am at these events, I am humbled and amazed by what I see. Families become empowered and stronger before my eyes. They meet new people, hear new philosophies and get the chance to just talk to people who “get it”.   When I get to speak about issues that I have dealt with and offer ways that have worked, it is wonderful to have people come up to me later and say, “Thank you! I can do this now.” It is something that I never imagined that I would be a part of 14 years ago.
 
4.  I am not in this alone.  Fourteen years ago, I knew no one with children with diabetes.  I was given a phone number of a family diagnosed just before my son and we talked on the phone one day.  It would take us years to meet up.  In the meantime, I would find an online support group that helped me find my way.  It empowered me and educated me.  The members of that group became my family. They had been there, were living there, and had experienced that. They understood milestones like your child lancing their finger for the first time. They got the sick humor of watching blood gush across the lunch table.
 
Over the years, that support team grew.  I found people in my community to meet up with. I became involved in national groups and met new parents who were also struggling. Eventually social media grew and I became involved there finding many more parents and people living with diabetes.  Being able to share milestones and fears gives me the strength to move forward. I are far from alone today.
 
And the fifth thing that I learned? Diabetes makes us stronger than we ever knew! Life presents challenges.  Life as a parent presents challenges. Life as a parent of a child with diabetes adds another level of challenge to the equation. Many people have it worse. Many people have it better. I have cried in the shower. I have sat alone in the dark and shed a number of tears. I have been grateful. I have been frustrated but most importantly, I am still here to tell the story…and so are my children.
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Fourteen Years Since My World Exploded

14 years ago today my world turned upside down. It was not a fork in the road. It was not a minor blip on the radar of life. A bomb exploded and it forever changed the landscape of my life. 
 
14 years ago this morning, I was looking at a sick little boy in my arms and was waiting to be able to take him in to see our doctor.  I was ignorant of what was to come. 
 
14 years later, my son is a young man making his own decisions and stretching his wings…who just happens to live with Type 1 diabetes.  I am stumbling to come to terms with my new role of no longer being a hands on mom and often find myself looking back to see what I have done in hopes of figuring out where I will go next. 
 
14 years have brought many changes.  Insulin pumps are more readily available and continuous glucose monitors are no longer things found in hospitals that are blinded for 7 days.  They are real tools that families and individuals are using in real-time to help fine tune their care. 
 
14 years ago, diabetes threatened to take the life of my son.  Today he is strong, vibrant and learning how to handle his disease.  Diabetes does not control him. Its just his “thing” to live with.
 
We have not always seen smooth sailing. We have had our moments.  He has driven me crazy at times–failing to test or change infusion sets. He still can drive me nuts. I have yelled at him because of my own failings and frustrations.  We are not perfect but we are living. As the commercial says, we are living with diabetes. It stops him from little. 
 
Diabetes has brought me the most incredible friendships.  I have friends throughout the world who have reached out at various times in my life to help me up or shove me forward. I hope I have done the same for them. 
 
14 years seems like such a long time and yet I can see us back in that ICU just like it was yesterday.  Some things you never forget…my son has but I haven’t. Instead, on days like today,  I look back and say thank you! Thank you to the doctors and specialists that kept him alive and have taught us through the years.  Thank you to the Higher Power that has been with us through it all. Thank you to the friends and family who have joined us on this journey. Thank you for 14 years of good health and improved technology! 
 
Diabetes sucks but life after diabetes…well its still life and that is pretty amazing!
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Looks Can Be Deceiving

For the past few weeks, I have been going through old photos for a variety of reasons. I came across this picture.  My young son looks so sweet and innocent.
 
You would think such a picture would evoke the “ahhhs” of a mother right? Wrong! I know the stories behind this precious image. I remember the many faces of this child during those long car rides that were less than sweet. 
 
liam asleep july 2003
It was the summer of 2003 and my mother, my sons, and I were driving across Canada to see friends and spend time with family. It truly was an amazing trip but we also had diabetes along for the ride and so the challenges were a little more. 
 
While driving for 8+ hours, I would read Harry Potter to my oldest son when my mom was behind the wheel. It killed time and seemed like a great idea. A four-year old who was high did not share those feelings.  At one point, that sweet little boy you see in the back seat, took a Harry Potter book and flung it across the car leaving a mark on my window.  We were done reading with him in a car for a bit.
 
Why was this child high? Well, it could have been the insulin that got cooked in the cooler in the trunk of the car.  It may have been the insulin pen that quit working but Mom did not realize it right away. It could have been the long hours in a car and not getting quite the right mix of long acting insulin to balance the drive. The reasons were plenty but the results were flying books and a need to pee at the most inopportune times.
 
He demanded that we pull over while speeding along in rush-hour traffic on a Vancouver freeway.  This resulted in the creative use of spare coffee cups and extreme gratitude that he was a boy.
 
Being high when traveling also meant that he demanded that we not proceed flowing  the pilot car despite being stuck in sweltering heat on an Ontario highway for hours.  We had been held up in the same spot for literally over an hour and he had not needed to use the washroom during that time but the second the truck came and allowed us to proceed, my sweet little angel began “the pee dance” and was adamant that we had to pull back over NOW!
 
When asked if I would do that trip again, my answer was always the same…in a heart beat. I didn’t mind having a 4 and 8-year old in the car with me for hours…most of the time.  We stopped and enjoyed parks to break up the days.  We met wonderful people and got a chance to see the Canadian landscape up close.  And we have memories….some very interesting memories!

Balancing Diabetes…A book review

A number of months ago, I was honored when the folks at Spry Publishing contacted me and asked if I would be interested in reviewing an advanced copy of Kerri Sparling’s new book, Balancing Diabetes. I have enjoyed Kerri’s blog but I honestly wondered about a book that suggested that you could find some balance in a life with diabetes.  What pat formula would she suggest?

Any fears or concerns that I had were quickly pushed aside as I began to devour this book. As with any book that I read and am going to review, I bookmark passages and pages with little notes of why this sentence or paragraph moved me.  In looking back at Kerri’s book, I literally have over 50 different sections marked off for mention! This has to be a great book…and it is.

As  a mother of a child with diabetes, I was also worried that I would be reading this book from the outside. Kerri is a person with diabetes and this book would be all about her right? Wrong. By page 9 Kerri’s mother shares her feelings and I could hear myself in her words “…I didn’t know what we were getting into. I just thought, Okay let’s go deal with this, whatever this is.”  Kerri’s mom goes on to say that she handled what she was given but did not want any more.  She would learn in stages because the get everything at once would be overwhelming. I felt the same way when my son was diagnosed.  I was on overload and autopilot for months. Slowly I would add knowledge and information when I could handle it…this was how we, as parents, found balance with diabetes.

This book brought out many emotions.  Reading about the burden of being shown and repeatedly told about your own mortality at such a young age made me wonder how my son feels? Is he still an immortal teen or does he have Kerri’s “heightened awareness of how vulnerable” her health was? Either way, does he also know, that I share Kerri’s mother’s feelings when Kerri told her that she didn’t care if she was high and her mother responded “For now, I’ll care enough for both of us.”  Yes, I cried reading this.

But like the title, this book has balance.  While there are many very serious conversations, humor creates a fabulous balance and brings a different kind of tears…the ones you get from laughing! Kerri’s wonderful sense of humor shines through in this book.  The topic of sex is never an easy one but Kerri takes you past the embarrassment and makes you laugh with her candor.  She shares the story of her first serious low  with her husband. It took place after they had made love and her husband lays claim  to responsibility for it happening!

Besides the amazing humor and the walk through Kerri’s life, she brings in the experiences of many other people who live with diabetes to provide some fabulous tips for living a full life with diabetes.  They  takes us through diagnosis, the trials of teens, life as a young adult, dating, marriage and even pregnancy.  Kerri talks about the sense of helplessness that diabetes can create at times–for the person with diabetes, their partner, and even for the parents.  Sean Oser provides insight on dealing with blood sugar readings, “There are no good or bad blood sugars; every result is just a number, and it tells us what to do next.” This is a motto that I have tried to instill in my own son for years.

Balancing Diabetes looks at pump starts, travel and advocacy.  Each topic is looked at both from Kerri’s perspective as well as that of  many other people in the diabetes community.
The most poignant section in the book for me, was when I saw a person state that they do NOT believe that you can find a balance when living with diabetes.  What? But the title of the book says that you will.  How could this happen? How could someone state that balance cannot be achieved? Well, that is the beauty of this book! It does not show one size fits all, pat answers. This book shows you real life. It shows real pain and real accomplishments. It emphasizes that diabetes really is a “your diabetes may vary” kind of disease.  How wonderful!

This book is a fabulous balance of perspectives and stories.  It does not tell you one way to “do it right and achieve balance”, it shows you a variety of approaches to a variety of topics and what works for different people.  The best thing is that it also tells you that you never fail. If you have been really bad about taking responsibility for your diabetes care, cut yourself some slack and make a change now.  It’s not too late. If you have been diagnosed with diabetes related complications, don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault.  Brush yourself off and move forward. You have got this handled. You are amazing!

Balancing Diabetes is a wonderfully written book filled with a balance of real life events that show that we are not alone–whether we live with diabetes, are parents of a child with diabetes, or just love a person with diabetes. Now hurry up and order your copy because I noticed that Amazon Canada was almost out already!
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FIFTY YEARS of diabetes!

Over the weekend I was sent a link to a blog post.  That is nothing unusual. I regularly get links to articles on how to cure diabetes, the evils of sugar, and how to deal with my erectile dysfunction.  This article was different however. It was from a man I had met online years ago.
 
I truly don’t remember how exactly our paths crossed. I have used his online store at times for various diabetes related supplies. I have promoted the things that he does and follow the newsletter that he sends me on occasion. I know that he was helpful in promoting and working on changes to both the Disability Tax Credit and the insulin pump program in Ontario.
 
Despite all of this, we hadn’t personally connected in quite some time.  I was therefore very pleased when I received a note from him over the weekend.  It turns out this incredible man who lives with diabetes, is now a Certified Diabetes Educator, successful businessman, and a pharmacist, is also celebrating FIFTY years living with diabetes!
 
Fifty years! Imagine that! What does fifty years with diabetes look like? How much have things changed? He seems to be healthy and thriving.  How has he done it? Was it “easy” for him? Does he have a wonderful support network? What advice does he have?
 
Tino Montopoli answers those questions and many more in his open letter to people living with diabetes. I encourage you to read it in his entirety.  It will move you. It will surprise you.  And personally his best advice for anyone, living with diabetes or not is “Never lose sight of your family and friends. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help. Follow your heart and passion to do what you want to do. Never let diabetes stop you from following your dreams.” There is so much more that he shares and so much more to inspire you about life as well as life with diabetes.
 
Thank you so much for sharing Tino! Please go to Diabetes Depot to read his complete post and if you are looking for a great source for diabetes supplies, check them out as well!
Tino is presented Joslin’s 50 year medal by Dr. Bruce Perkins
 

A Rose Colored Life

I am slowly adjusting to not having any young men living in my house anymore. As I have said many times, it is a challenge for me on so many levels. I have found test strips in a few places and I can’t take it upon myself to pick them up.  They are physical reminders of my child. I actually smile when I see them.
 
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This one greets me in my laundry room each day.
Yesterday I realized how much we can romanticize situations when someone is away.  I am almost looking forward to getting up and testing my son through the night over Christmas. Gone is the dread and frustration that I carried for years.  Now, I will be doing him a favor–and more importantly I will have data to look at!!
 
Life can almost be rosy when they are away and you are simply talking on the phone or texting.  You can forget the challenges of trying to get a teen involved in his diabetes care.  You can gloss over the attitude that they can carry with them, the eye rolls and the shrugging of shoulders.  You don’t have to consider the fights over homework and grades.  There is a certain bliss about the situation…and then there are the challenges….
 
I am not there to force him to do homework and improve his grades. I cannot physically see the assignments that he should be paying more attention to but I do see the results in his report cards. I am not there to ensure that he is in the house at what I feel is a decent hour. I am not able to make sure that foods are bolused and testing is done.  This can lead to a sense of frustration and powerlessness. It can be torture….or I can go back to life with the rose-colored glasses fondly looking at dead test strips and remembering only the fondest of memories.
 
It is funny how the mind works.  I am at the point where I do both–I think of my son’s laughter and sense of humor. I wish that I could still do more about his diabetes care. I want to strangle him and kick his butt over his plummeting grades. I want to hook him up to a CGM and be done with it no matter what he says.
 
Such is the challenges of a child who is no longer small.  This is the way it is when he no longer lives in the same house, the same city, or the same part of the province.  This is how it is when he is struggling to be his own man.  It can be painful. It can be a learning experience for both of us. It is most certainly the greatest challenge of a parent.