Category Archives: parenting from a distance

The Transition Year Troubles

Last week it was  rough being a mother of a young man with diabetes.  My son wasn’t in DKA or anything as horrible as that.  He was tripping up in the world of paperwork, bureaucracy and diabetes care.

Two years ago he decided that he was old enough to handle his diabetes care, appointments and schooling on his own. He chose to move to live with his father and take over the responsibility on all of those fronts.  I was forced to stand on the sidelines and offer advice now and again when asked.

I was also left to order supplies for his pump on a semi-regular basis and this is where the trouble began…

I had placed an order for his infusion sets and cartridges.  On Tuesday I received a message on my phone.  It stated that coverage for my son’s supplies had been refused.  I was to either pay the almost $800 bill immediately or return all supplies.

What the heck? My son was under 25 with no insurance.  The provincial pump program was supposed to cover him. Had he fallen through the cracks? Did someone forget to do his paperwork?

I immediately began making calls and sending out emails.  I was sent a copy of the forms that should have been completed for him.  I called the woman at the pump company back.   Slowly the truth began to emerge and it wasn’t pretty…

The pump company hadn’t received new paperwork for my son regarding provincial pump coverage since 2014.

His diabetes center had only seen him once per year but the provincial policy requires him to see someone three times per year.  He had missed most of his appointments.  They had warned him that doing so would result in lost coverage.  He never paid attention.

His diabetes center was for pediatric care and they believed that he had been transferred to an adult center.  They suggested that I contact his former doctor (whom my son felt was still handling his care).

I called his doctor.  I was desperate for some sort of help both in getting my son to realize how important his attendance at appointments were and finding coverage for his pump supplies.

His doctor would not take my call but did say that he was continuing to care for my son.  Because my son is 18, his doctor felt that it was up to him to fix the mess that he created.  Fair point.  I passed the message along.  My son made the call.

It is a new week.  A glass or two of wine helped me to decompress.  My son is hopefully beginning to understand that while Mom is always there to help, being “of age” means that he has to handle things.

He has a call into his doctor to set up an appointment and chat about what he can do next.  His doctor is willing to help him get things straightened out (him not Mom) . He has booked an appointment with a diabetes clinic closer to his home to ensure that he can make the appointment.

These sound like small things.  In our world they are massive but we will find out way through…and at least there is still wine.

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Its Little Things…

I made my first trip to Costco as an empty nester the other week. It was a bizzare experience when you factor in so many years of living with diabetes and children.

There were the normal things..the boxes of cereal that I don’t need because my boys are not here to eat it.  There was the flavored water that my youngest loved to drink that I don’t have to worry about buying until he comes to visit.  There were also the meats that were packaged into portions for two adults to eat rather than two adults and a ravenous teen or two.

Next came the diabetes things…buying items and not worrying what the carb count was.  Putting items away and not worrying about saving the nutritional information to be referred to later.

I can’t say that it felt good. It felt..well a little empty.  I have been shopping and cooking for a child for the past 20 years. I still chat with them each day.  We still FaceTime or Skype and call but not physically seeing them each day?  Not feeding them each day? Well its strange. I know my wallet will appreciate it but its a lot harder for the heart to get used to.

They will visit and old habits will quickly return. I will, and do stalk up on all of their favorite baked and bought goods for their arrival.  This is just another phase of life. It just takes a bit to get used to as well.

I still wake at night. I almost long to get up and test…almost.  Life changes. Children grow. Normally we have time to prepare.  Sometimes we don’t.  Either way we go on with our new roles and make the very best of them. I continue to be there for both of my children. I continue to teach my youngest son as much as I can about diabetes and provide him with as many supports as I can. Its strange how the little things impact you.
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