Another Day, Another Feather Left Behind

The tree is down.  The Christmas decorations are put away for another year.  The house is a little bit more quiet now without the steady banter of two young men and the constant opening of the fridge.  My children were home for a week and it still surprises me how much I miss them when they are gone.
In one week I crammed in as much mom stuff as I could.  There was providing them with food that they love, doing their laundry and sitting around enjoying conversations.  We watched the latest Hobbit movie together and all huddled around watching to see our cousin’s name in the credits.
There was the other stuff that moms take care of too like a stop at the bank to fix issues on both children’s bank accounts.  There was a call to a meter company to replace the iBGstar that my son refuses to part with even though the display was not working properly. There was also the purchase of the small things needed to make life run just a little smoother that only Mom would think of.
It was a busy week.  We quickly fell into the routine of Mom doing more testing and helping with carb counts.  I later wondered if I should have offered to do everything for one day to give my son a complete break. I realized quickly that the idea would not possibly work given his current eating habits. He eats 24/7. I would not be able to keep up. It was much easier to offer carb counts and test while he slept in.
Despite delays caused by Mother Nature, my boys have returned to their other home.  They are slowly getting back into their routine and I am slowly returning to mine.  I still smile however when I see those loose “feathers” in the strangest places.  There is a test strip on the floor in my office where they spent hours catching up on the latest season of Sons of Anarchy.  There is a piece of an infusion set sitting on a table in the living room. How it managed to end up there is beyond me but there is sits waiting to be used…or find a garbage can.
My new role in my son’s life still leaves me feeling off balance and unsure at times. I continue worry and sometimes feel guilty because I no longer have to think about diabetes 24/7.  That is how life goes.  We teach our children and then one day have to step back and pray that they have absorbed some of what we have given them…and remember that we are their for them when the stumble or just need a shoulder to lean on. 
d feathers

School’s out for SUMMER!

Wow! Its finally here…the last day of school before summer vacation.  I am excited and sad.  Gone are the days when I would attend the last day with my boys, watch an awards ceremony, share in events, and cry tears of joy as I watched them grow.  I only have one child in school now and school as become his domain.  I can meet with teachers at the appropriate times.  I can send them a note about his diabetes care but the rest is up to him.
Last week was exam week.  For at least some of those exams he actually tested before he started to write his tests.  In at least one case he was high before he started. I asked him what he did?  He told me that it was a two hour exam but they had been given three hours to complete it.  The first hour he used to get his bg levels back in check. The final two hours he did his exam and corrected anything he had got wrong in the first hour.  I was proud and sad.
I was excited that he had checked! I was proud that he was able to take control of the situation and make it work. I was sad that once again diabetes had to mess with such a normal activity…a science exam.
The momma bear in me was all prepared to stand up for him and ask for accomodations if his mark was not where it should be.  The mom of a young man with diabetes said,” he has handled this his way.  Let it be.” and I have.
I often write about how I fear that he will never take the lead in his diabetes care. He has a very cavalier attitude about so much in life, will he ever realize that this is serious? Adults tell me that he will. They tell me he will struggle, he will trip but that I have given him a good foundation to fall back on. I hold onto those words with both hands!
I am seeing changes. As I have written about a lot lately, his interest in diet and exercise has had a very positive impact on his testing, his readings and his interest in his care.  He knows that his bg levels need to be at their best so that he can perform at his best.  That is a more powerful motivator than any of Mom’s lectures. He still isn’t perfect…but he is learning. The true test will be when he is away from me and dealing with his care on his own this summer.  I admit that I am nervous. When he went away over Easter his care was non-existent.  He tested once a day on a good day.  I can’t worry about that. I can’t think about it.  These short stints will prepare him for the next few years when he decides to move away from me and begin his own life…but its hard not to worry because I am a mom after all!  schools out