Category Archives: teens and diabetes

Once again…

Why did I get such perverse pleasure from my son freaking out about his blood glucose dropping and my relatively cavalier attitude? Because this week brought us back full circle to Mom freaking out at him and him basically wishing that I would simply go away or at least give up the rant. 

Once again, I looked at his meter.  Once again all of those readings that he supposedly had but could not remember five minutes later were because HE DID NOT TEST!!!! Once again I lost it. Once again I yelled. Once again I told him that I HATE being lied to. Once again I said that he cannot be trusted.  Once again I wanted to sit and cry.  Once again I worried about the future. 

I still want to cry. I still am frustrated.  I still hate diabetes more and more.  My son is a teen. I get that.  He has a serious case of “teen brain”. I get that too. He is not my first teenage son but thankfully he is my last. 

I hate that no matter what diabetes is there wreaking some sort of havoc in our lives.  There have been a lot of changes in our lives recently. I have a lot of other “stuff” on my mind. I am trying to create a new business.  I am dealing with new budgetary issues. There is Christmas coming up, my car that needed brakes and tires and so much more of life’s daily challenges. I really did not have a lot of time to sit and hover over my son to make sure that he was testing when I asked.  It would appear that I needed to make time but… I DON’T WANT TO!!

I am tired of being the diabetes police. I am tired of testing, bolusing and counting carbs. I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night and convincing myself that I do not want to roll over and go back to sleep.  What I really want to do is to get out of bed, wander down the hallway, find my son’s glucometer and test him. 

No I don’t!! I want to have a “normal” life. I want to worry about him being happy.  I don’t want to have to be the one to remind him that when he looks at his budget in career class, he needs to make sure that he can afford the extra $400+ per month required to keep him alive. I don’t want to be the person to say “I don’t think that career will pay you enough.” “Do you think you will have good medical benefits with that job?” 

These aren’t conversations that I have with my other son. My biggest concern with him is that he spend all of his money on restaurants and exotic groceries.   

We have been doing this diabetes thing for almost 13 years.  Some parts are easier…and some parts remain frustrating. Despite that, I am done. I am tired. I want off of this ride.  We have been on it for too long and knowing that my son will never get off tips me closer to the edge.

Once again I rant and scream. Once again it will change nothing. Once again I will breathe.  Once again my son will test in front of me. Once again I will pray that he truly “gets it”…one day. 


My Goal for the school year.

Its that time of year again.  New clothes have been purchased because he has outgrown “every pair of jeans” he owns…or so he claims.  Fancy scientific calculators have been bought to allow him to handle high school math and a pile of note books sit on the floor in his room waiting to be taken to school in the next day or two. 

School begins tomorrow in full force.  The bus arrives at 8am and he will be gone until close to 4pm.  We are lucky.  There is no change of schools.  There will be minimal change in teachers.  My son goes to a small but growing school.  His class size will be tiny.  His teachers have had two years to begin to understand his diabetes needs. I am not in a panic. 

My son will be 15 tomorrow. He carries his meter, glucose and spare supplies in his back pack.  There will be new expectations for grade 10 however.  I am hoping that this will be the year that he hits the ground running rather than sits on the sidelines for the first semester until his mother loses it, gets involved with the teachers and he pulls up his socks for the rest of the year. 

This will also be the year that I expect that little bit more when it comes to diabetes care.  I will be sending all of his teachers a reminder letter regarding my son’s needs and specific care.  I will also be demanding that my son actually write all bg readings ON his exams before he does any.  I would recommend this to students of any age. 

As parents, we want our children to do their very best.  As parents of children with diabetes, we have seen first hand how cognitively impaired they can be by a high or low blood glucose reading.  If I know my son studied for an exam and failed BUT had a low bg level before taking the exam, I know that the exam did not measure his true knowledge.  I can then work with the teacher to see what we can do to get a more accurate result. 

My son is not keen on testing in class.  He does not like drawing attention to himself. I have been asking him to write his readings on tests since he was in elementary school. It has been hit and miss at best.  This year, its the one thing that I really want him to get into the habit of doing. Its my care goal for the year.  Not a huge one but a big one for him–and an important one for his academic career! 

Happy first day of school everyone!!