Because sometimes you have to laugh at life with diabetes

laugh at life with diabetes

Life with diabetes is stressful but often we can find humour in the most
interesting places! Here a few things that have made us all chuckle over
the years.

Who can forget this video….

Where is the strangest place you have ever found a test strip?

We all know that test strips are actually alive. They move on their own. They can be found in the most unique locations. Here are some of the interesting
places that we have heard of.  These ones made us laugh…a lot! Please feel free to share with us some of the strange places your test strips have ever been found.

test strip in coffeeThanks to Michael for sharing!!

“Somehow, a One Touch Ultra strip ended up in my coffee cup at work this morning. No idea how it got there, but probably involved a morning blood test of 211 that caused
me to cuss and toss my case across my desk. There must have been flailing test strips at hand, also. So, in the spirit, my Blood Meter decided to pose nearby the swimming test strip.”

Teresa I. found one in her daughter’s thick, curly hair after her daughter brushed it with a brush that was next to Teresa’s bed. The strip stayed in there through a full day of school!

Someone else found on that had been used as a bookmark in a school novel!

Test strips have also been found…

  • In the yard
  • Frozen in the ice
  • In a salad
  • In the washer and the dryer
  • Fishing tackle box
  • The teacher’s sweater pocket
  • On the back of the toilet tank
  • In a make up kit that was cleaned out on a weekly basis. How do they find their way to these places??
  • In a clean pair of underwear!

and of course…

test strip on the stoveOn the stove!

 

Strange infusion set locations!

Not to be outdone, we have also found infusion set sites in some very odd places. We have found them in the tub, by the garbage, in the car and even the bottom of my Swifter vac! Always something new.

Fun Diabetes Diddies

Here are some great diabetes poems and tunes that make us laugh and appreciate the creative people in the diabetes community!

Oh A1c songOh A1c

by Alissa

Oh A1c, Oh A1c, I raise my voice to heaven
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, in hopes it’s less than seven
The past three months we’ve had a slump
Despite corrections from the pump
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, just please don’t be eleven

Oh A1c, Oh A1c, we’ve tried to stay in range
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, so it seems very strange
That when I download from her Flash
I see the spikes and then the crash
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, you shall this Mom derange

Oh A1c, Oh A1c, I wake with such a fright
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, to my alarm’s delight
But one day when the Cure has come
I’ll beat that clock until it’s dumb
Oh A1c, Oh A1c, and sleep a silent night

Count the carbs song Count the Carbs

by Alissa

Count the carbs with cups and scales
Fa la la la la la la la la
Guesstimate when all else fails
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hands and fists are quite a treasure
Fa la la la la la la la la
When without a one cup measure
Fa la la la la la la la la

Factored carbs are even greater
Fa la la la la la la la la
But require a calculator
Fa la la la la la la la la
Units you must designate
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don’t forget to tare the plate!
Fa la la la la la la la la

Candy canes are roughly twenty
Fa la la la la la la la la
You will have to fudge a-plenty
Fa la la la la la la la la
Guess them now and fix it after
Fa la la la la la la la la
Just correct and meet with laughter
Fa la la la la la la la la

I have a little meterMeter (Dreidel)

By Barbie Paulsen

I have a little meter
I use it through the day,
When finger’s done with bleeding
Then dreidel I can play

Chorus:
Oh, meter, meter, meter
I use it every day
And when I’m done with testing
I throw used strips away (Hah!)

I have a little meter,
It counts down really fast
And keeps a steady record
Of when I tested last

–Chorus–

I have a little meter
I take it everywhere
But when I need to use it
Sometimes it isn’t there

no more lows songNo More Lows!

by Alissa

(to the tune of “Let It Snow!”)

Oh the numbers at night are frightful
And the meter now seems spiteful
I’m exhausted and I think it knows
No more lows! No more lows! No more lows!

All this sugar shoving has me praying
That those teeth are not decaying
How much longer is this going to go?
No more lows! No more lows! No more lows!

For a while things worked out right
Numbers were steady till dawn
But now it seems every night
I’m thinking about Glucagon!

Now I’m thinking it would be nifty
If we could see one-fifty
‘Cause the glucose tabs are running low
No more lows! No more lows! No more lows!

rufus the bearRufus the Type 1 Brown Bear

by Alissa and Samantha

Rufus the Type 1 Brown Bear
Had to always prick his toes
And if you checked his sugar
You might come to find he’s low

All of the other brown bears
Thought that Rufus had Type 2
So when they had some candy,
They would tell him, “Not for you!”

Then one day a CDE
Helped him to explain,
“I take insulin, you see,
Sugar is just fine for me!”

Then all the brown bears nodded
As they came and shook his hand
“Rufus we’re really sorry,
Now we finally understand!”

Test Strips

by Alissa

(to the tune of “Latkes”)

Test strips, test strips, I see test strips
Not a little, but a lot of test strips
Test strips, test strips, I see test strips
Not a little, but a lot! Of test strips

Test strips are so useful when they show me my bg
But they turn up later, reproducing magically!

Test strips, test strips, I see test strips
Not a little, but a lot of test strips
Test strips, test strips, I see test strips
Not a little but a LOT!!

 

Diabetes changes your vocabulary

It’s funny how your vocabulary changes when diabetes enters your world.  I saw nothing wrong with sternly telling my 5-year-old son who was having a tantrum in public.. “You had better be high mister!” In hindsight, you do have to wonder how many adults were wondering why I was okay with my child being stoned.

Before diabetes, if someone said that they were low, I would have assumed that they were having a bad day.  I would have offered them a shoulder to lean on…today I am running for glucose!

Twenty years ago, if you had told me to grab a site, I would have thought you meant a campsite and would be questioning why I, of all people, would seriously want a camping site? I prefer camping in a 4 star hotel to sleeping on the ground with bugs and other creatures.

Today when I ask my son to tell me his BS, I don’t want to hear the lies that he has to tell. Gone are the days when BS meant bulls*!@.  Now it reflects important blood glucose information.

A juice box is no longer just something to have on hand when the grandchildren pop over for a visit.  Those little guys are vital, life-saving bottles of sugar to be used when my son comes in from work and says “I’m low”.  He doesn’t want a hug, he just wants that juice!

A Pump is not just for breast milk
A Pump is not just for breast milk

I recently reached out to the diabetes community  and asked what words had new meaning for them when diabetes came into their lives.  The answers were pretty funny! Check these out…

  • A D-bag is no longer a douche bag but rather that super important kit that contains all things diabetes related.
  • Checking your numbers no longer refers to wondering if you have won the lottery.  When diabetes moves in, it is hoping that you win that diabetes lottery and your readings are perfect.
  • As a parent, this was one of the hardest ones for me  to handle…”If you are not hungry then leave your salad and make sure that you finish your dessert!”
  • The question, “How is your 6 year old’s reading?” now sends one parent to automatically check their child’s CGM rather than reply as to what sort of books they are currently able to read.
  • “Make sure you wash all of the blood off of your hands.” has nothing to do with clean up after  a serious accident, applying trauma care or cleaning up a murder scene.
  • A pump isn’t just for breast milk any more!
  • “What’s your number” is not a pick up line.
  • A “Sugar Daddy” does not refer to a man who is supporting a woman in a lavish lifestyle but rather the father of a child with diabetes.

I never realized how much my vocabulary has changed since diabetes came into our lives.  Quite a few of these made me laugh as I realized how odd they must sound to the outside world!

What sort sayings or words have completely changed their meaning for you since diabetes barged into your life?

 

Test Strips…Its a Love-Hate Relationship

You can find test strips anywhere and everywhere.

I have found them in the stove and on the ground.

I have had people send me pictures of test strips in their coffee.

I have heard of people finding them in their refrigerators.  They are amazing little creatures that many of us swear are actually alive with the ability to move.  We put them in the garbage but somehow they escape!

When we live with diabetes all of the time, they are the bane of our existence.  They are a trail of breadcrumbs that may lead us to a loved one.01741ce750817f0bb842a77d37b600d36d278409fb

When the person with diabetes moves away, they are little feathers that remind us of our loved one and become sweet reminders. ..Well for me anyway. I seriously can’t throw them out. There is one in my car.  I had recently cleaned my car and rid myself of all test strips—and then my son came to visit.  There is now a new strip in my car.

There are always strips left in his room.IMG_0002.JPG (2)

I found one in our truck the other day.  I am not sure how it got there since the truck had been thoroughly cleaned more than once since he last rode in it.

The coolest test strips are the random ones you find that don’t belong to your loved one but are just like his/her’s and you feel a kinship to the person who dropped it.01adec7d2ccf29c15c14dd07e649cc1cc17abe5be1

We love test strips for the information that they readily provide.

We hate test strips for the ability to move on their own.

We love test strips for the little piece of someone else that they leave behind each time we spy them.

Or maybe its just me 🙂

 

My Favourite Blog Post?

 

Today’s Diabetes Blog Week prompt asks for my favourite of those that I have written.  Seriously? That is a challenge!! First, I don’t write thinking,” Wow, I am awesome!”  I used to write thinking that no one would ever read what I had to say.

As I realized that they did, I just wanted to post things so that other parents would know that they were not alone. I tried to find humour in some of those events.

I have written posts that have come from my own struggles and guilt as a parent of a child with diabetes.  The post written after my son told me that he wanted to move back with his father for his final two years of high school was definitely one of the hardest to write. Trying to find a balance of honestly, emotion and not sounding as lost as I felt was a huge challenge. The positive comments made me feel better for sharing.

I have tackled topics that many of us want to ignore like Dead in Bed but lately I have tried to educate through posts like my most recent Dear John and Jane Public and looking at the cost of diabetes care if it were me and not my son with the disease.

What is my absolute favourite? What makes me smile? Any post that shows my son’s great attitude and quirky sense of humour.  There have been many comments over the years that have come out of nowhere. Some of them I have caught and  published like when he told me…”“You know Mom, if I had to explain to someone what it felt like to be high or low all I would have to do is tell them to watch Suzie and Sweedums eat breakfast.  Suzie is what its like to be low and Sweedums is what its like to be high.” Suzie will  demolish a bowl of food before I have put food in Sweedums’ bowl.  Sweedums will eat one piece of food at a time, analyzing it and taking over to a mat to eat every single morsel.

The one post that will make me smile every time is when I described my son’s logic when it came to site changes. He was a day late doing his site change.  I was leaving him to it when he stopped me asking me why I was leaving?  When I told him that he was more than capable of doing a site change he replied…

“Yes, but Mom, you realize that you only have four more years to do site changes for me. I will turn 18 and move on and you will never have this opportunity again.  You should be savouring these times just like you say how important it is to share each birthday with me before I leave home. Actually, think of these site changes as being just like my birthday but every three days.  Treasure them. In fact, we can make it like my birthday if you want. You can even buy me presents for each site change done!”

Ironically, he is right about me missing it that is. I still get to do site changes when he visits. I don’t miss diabetes or harping on him to do a site change but since it is a part of him and I miss him, well I do kind of treasure those times when I did do his changes.

 

The post just once again showed his unique perspective that some days makes me want to bang my head against a wall but most days makes me smile and proudly say “Yes, that is my son!”Celebrate

 

 

Hello…I’m a Glucometer

Diabetes Blog Week

Write a short story personifying a diabetes tool you use on a daily basis. A meter, syringe, pump, pill, etc. Give it a personality and a name and let it speak through you. What would it be happy about, upset about, mad about?  (Thank you Heather of Unexpected Blues for this topic.)

Hello, my name is Fred and I am a glucometer.  You would think with a job as important as mine that I would get a lot of respect but I don’t.  I am shoved in dark pockets, thrown around and basically taken for granted. Its a very rough life.

I am expected to be ready for service at all times of the day. It doesn’t matter if I worked hard all day, they still expect me to be bright-eyed and shining at three in the morning. And when I say shining, I mean that they really want me to light up all nice and bright showing them glowing pretty numbers. When they are done with me, they just toss me off to the side again.

My job is tireless.  They smear blood all over me.  They curse at me when they don’t like what the reading is.  Like that is my fault? How is it that I control what their blood glucose is going to be? I deserve a lot more respect.

The only time I get respect is when the parents or the doctor take a look at me.  They know how important I am.  They look at my display as if they are reading a holy gospel.  They value me and my knowledge.  My owner? Well, he looks at me like I am a rock, a burden that he is forced to carry around. I am the unwanted younger brother that he has to take everywhere.

Why does he have to think of me that way? It hurts my feelings. I am just trying to do my job. I am trying to work with him to keep him healthy.  I know that it can be tedious. It’s not picnic for me either. I mean, I have to be on all of the time! There is no time when I can be just a little less accurate. I have to bring my A-game every time we meet.  Its exhausting but I don’t get any praise or appreciation.

He just doesn’t get it and some times I get mad as well and when I do, I get even in my own way.  When he just grumpily and shoves a strip in me and expects me to instantly produce results, I come back and tell him “Error 4”.  Oh does that get his goat! He has to retest and take his time to treat me a little nicer–getting all of his blood just so on the test strip so that I will read it for him.  After he has done that, I reward him by saying “HI” but he doesn’t often see the humor in that one. I don’t understand why.  Isn’t it important to be friendly now and then? Perhaps if he could be a little nicer, we could work together a bit better and I wouldn’t have to resort to cheap jibes.

Maybe one day he will get it. One day he might understand how important I am! Oh well, at least he takes me most places. I usually only hear about the spots that we go to from the inside of a pocket but at least I get to tag along.  It’s not easy being me.  I guess it’s not easy being him either, but I still say, “work with me dude! It will make things so much easier!”  Darn! I shouldn’t have said that so loud, here comes another check. Back to work!

hi meter

Test Strips Really Do Reproduce!

Test Strip Graveyard

The other day I was sweeping the floors and made a discovery that shocked me. There had been one test strip laying on the floor outside of our downstairs bathroom. I have swept around it for weeks. My son left in January and diabetes trash has served to be small reminders of him.

Yes, this shows a small bit of my psychosis. I am an empty-nester who still has issues. I read about it online the other day. It basically said I was crazy and trash is trash but I am not alone in my insanity. I still have part of a cartridge sitting in my car because…well its something my youngest son used. Under normal circumstances, it would have long been thrown away and I would have yelled at him for leaving his junk in my car.  He moved away and suddenly this stuff is a treasured possession. Yes, I definitely have issues.

I have not left his room as a shrine (another thing noted in this article on empty nest syndrome). He actually complained the last time he was here because the bed in his room now has a shiny duvet cover that he did not feel was manly. His brother’s bed covering is much more neutral.  I talk to both of my sons on a regular basis.  They are still a big part of my life but still  I do smile now when I come across a test strip…until the other day. On that day I got a little creeped out!

As I have admitted, I will sweep around one test strip. I will leave a dead soldier on the floor of his room and smile as I walk by it to feed the fish.  I am not a hoarder nor am I into dirt and garbage piling up.  Subtle reminders in places that ideally only I see are fine but let’s not go overboard (see no white jackets required at the moment!).  The other day, as I moved my Swifter throughout the small bit of floor space on our lower level, I was surprised to see that the one test strip that I had been watching now had a friend. There were two test strips that had somehow found their way out of a garbage can and onto our floor. This was not good. I put them in a spot together and knew that they would have to be returned to the trash that day.

I continued to clean and tidy but was again surprised to find test strip number three! Okay, I have admitted to not picking up ONE test strip but honestly I do not keep a bunch garbage around “just because” it reminds me of one child.  There is a limit even for me so how did I end up with three used test strips on my downstairs floor? I have not had anyone in the house testing their blood in over six weeks. I honestly clean my house and my floors on a regular basis. There is no way for me to now have THREE test strips in one small area.

There was only one reasonable answer.  Test strips, like dust bunnies really do reproduce! If only we could get the unused ones to do this, a lot of people would be able to test a lot more for a lot less money!

The test strips have all been moved to the garbage can.  The question remains however…will they really stay there this time?

 

But the Diabetes Debris Remains

As I noted before, my youngest son has chosen to finish high school in his hometown which is quite far from where I live.  Despite him being gone, diabetes waste continues to surface in the most likely and unlikely of places!

There were of course numerous test strips in the washer and dryer but that means that he was testing right?

D waste2 (6)

D waste2 (3)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were strips behind the computer desk and hidden in various places on the floor.

d waste (1) d waste (2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were also caps to insulin vials

d waste (4)

 

 

 

 

 

 

and used infusion sets

D waste2 (7)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were strips at the cabin.

D waste2 (5)D waste2 (4)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but my biggest surprise was when I opened a tote that was filled with photos and old frames and found a vial of insulin!

D waste2 (8)

My son may not be living with me full-time any more, but Diabetes is still making its presence known!